Last week felt like a perfect storm, an unexpected convergence of pressures from all directions that left me reeling. Betsy Kolkea describes it as like having the tail shot off a plane in mid-flight; a sudden loss of control that sets us spinning downward at terrifying speed. I’m reminded me of the dramatic plane-falling-from-the-sky scene in the film Knight & Day, where Cameron Diaz asks Tom Cruise anxiously, ‘Are we going down?’, to which he replies with a grin, ‘It’s just a rapid descent.’
In that satirical moment, the character played by Cruise actually models an important principle in a sudden crisis: create a pause, no matter how brief, to breathe, reflect, weigh up options (and, for me, pray) – then decide and act. I heard a similar idea in a video this week, about how to survive a parachute jump if the parachute doesn’t open. The most important thing is not to panic (yeah right!) and to use the moments available, no matter how brief, to breathe, focus, scan options and choose. This skill may indeed, of course, come a lot easier and more instinctively if we’ve had opportunity to practise and gain experience beforehand. There’s something about having already been through a challenge and survived, having been tested repeatedly under fire, that can develop a resilience and psychological adaptivity akin to muscle memory. It makes an auto-response possible in the midst of unexpected and extraordinary circumstances and, thereby, creates a vital moment-space to think. When have you gone into a tailspin? What have you done to recover from a surprise nosedive, a crisis that came from nowhere and hit you out of left field? What can you do to help others caught in free fall?
18 Comments
Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
2/4/2021 02:11:37 pm
Hello Nick I am sorry to hear you've experienced a tailspin. I find self compassion always helps me. Finding a quiet space helps too. Then l can think better what to do.
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Nick Wright
2/4/2021 02:16:01 pm
Thank you, Stella. Simple as it sounds, I try consciously to take a moment to breathe deeply, pray, and, if time permits, go for a walk. I also find brief reflective writing useful, or conversation with a trusted friend or colleague, to help process my thoughts and feelings and to decide on an appropriate action or stance.
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Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
2/4/2021 02:22:11 pm
That makes good sense Nick. I have heard that starting with a long exhale and focusing on the breath helps us relax.
Nick Wright
3/4/2021 11:21:55 am
Thanks Stella. Yes, the Human Givens Institute posted an interesting short research piece in this area:
Linda-Mary Edwards
13/4/2021 12:16:33 pm
Yes, big fan of Richard Rohr.
Nick Wright
13/4/2021 12:19:24 pm
Hi Linda. Yes, although I don't always agree with Richard theologically, I nevertheless find so many of his insights profoundly inspiring. My favourite book by Richard is 'The Naked Now' (2009).
Richard Simpson
3/4/2021 08:57:18 am
Hi Nick - your article reminded me of a concept called OODA - observe, orientate, decide, act - which emerged in the American military. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop. Matthew Syed's BBC Radio programme is good at explaining its strengths and weaknesses - briefly OODA is great in a crisis, not so good, or even positively harmful, as a regular modus operandus. Which chimes with your analogy of the tailspin. In my own coaching experience, helping clients in high pressured environments to create time and space between stimulus and action is one of the most helpful learning outcomes.
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Nick Wright
3/4/2021 11:19:15 am
Hi Richard. Thank you for sharing the OODA concept. I hadn't heard of that before and found the Wiki article fascinating. Yes, it definitely resonates with the principle I outlined here. I was particularly drawn to the 'Orient' dimension and its resonances with insights at the heart of critical reflexivity and critical reflective practice. (I couldn't find a critique by Matthew Syed - do you have a link?)
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Richard Simpson
3/4/2021 01:33:20 pm
Hi Nick - thanks for your very generous reply. Here's a link to Matthew Syed's series Sideways:
Nick Wright
4/4/2021 10:09:56 am
Hi Richard. Many thanks for sharing the link.
Benoît Couture
12/4/2021 11:02:59 am
We are taught to enter and to deepen into God's rest.
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Nick Wright
12/4/2021 11:07:49 am
Hi Benoît and thank you for sharing the link to your own powerful life story. In case of interest, I've shared a few of my own reflections on shaking, and experiences of being shaken, here:
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Benoît Couture
12/4/2021 12:32:05 pm
Wake-up call
Nick Wright
12/4/2021 12:33:00 pm
Wow - so you had an encounter with the Seagull too? :)
E.G. (Ervin) Sebastian - CPC, CSL
13/4/2021 06:55:35 pm
The stories I could tell that made me loose my footing and felt like that crashing airplane... Some of those stories, though, would really mess up some people's perception of me... and to some would elevate me to new levels in their eyes...
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Nick Wright
13/4/2021 07:04:53 pm
Hi Ervin. I always love the refreshing honesty in your responses! :) "I'd like to tell you that most of the time I had the presence of the mind to do something smart... but in most cases I just spiralled till I slammed into the ground, then slowly rebuilt myself." That has often been the case in my own life too.
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E.G. (Ervin) Sebastian - CPC, CSL
13/4/2021 07:51:31 pm
Nick, great story...
Nick Wright
13/4/2021 10:20:18 pm
Thanks Ervin. You a true adventurer. :) You reminded me of this short piece that you may remember too...although your life makes mine feel quite tame by comparison!! https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/sensible Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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