What makes a great influencer? What influences you? What have been your best and worst experiences of influencing other people? What have you found makes the difference?
Influence is sometimes described as the art or psychology of persuasion. It’s about creating a shift in a person or group’s beliefs, thinking, feelings, attitudes, actions or behaviour. We’re influencing all the time through our everyday social interactions but not always in the ways we would hope for. For example, as you read what I’m writing here, your own views about influencing will be affected at some level. It could strengthen your existing beliefs or create a shift, no matter how small. The art of influencing is at heart about enabling a shift in the direction that the influencer hopes for. This implies at the outset that influence demands intentionality. It implies a deliberate act, a strategy or sorts, with a particular goal in mind. This intention is not always clear, however, even to the influencer. We’re not always sure what influences our own behaviour, even if we rationalise or post-rationalise it at a conscious level. So, for instance, I could tell and convince myself that I’m behaving or acting in a certain way because that explanation feels more personally or socially acceptable, even if deeper factors or motivations are at work at subconscious or unconscious levels. Assuming for argument’s sake that I have a clear and conscious intention or goal in mind, what can I do to create a shift in another towards my desired direction? As a leader or manager, I could use my positional power to demand a change in action or behaviour. It could result in compliance to achieve reward or avoid punishment, or resistance as an effort to avoid the change. It’s unlikely, however, to change the other party’s underlying beliefs, values, attitudes etc. in the way that I may hope for, especially if I want to achieve transformational and sustainable change. This is of course one of the critical challenges of change leadership: how to move a person or group to a psychological place where they choose freely to change without coercion or external pressure. It’s the same kind of challenge faced by trainers and marketeers: how to influence people’s attitudes, choices and behaviours without access to formal power or authority to ensure those changes happen. It begs interesting and important ethical questions, e.g. how to achieve a shift without unethically manipulating people or groups, especially those who are vulnerable. In my experience, a key factor in influencing is understanding what matters most to other people. This is often the starting point for market research, surveying targeted populations to find out what they choose and why. If I understand what matters to you, what you value most, I can frame my product, service, idea, argument, language etc. in terms that will make it feel familiar, acceptable or attractive to you. In advertising, I may use people or images you consider iconic, admirable, inspiring or trustworthy to build a psychological bridge towards you – and to entice you to cross it. The same principles apply to influencing in the workplace. Recognising that employee engagement influences talent retention and organisational performance, many organisations conduct staff surveys, pulse checks, focus groups etc. to understand how the organisation feels to those who work for it. Such surveys provide opportunity for leaders and staff to influence the organisational culture and climate and for staff to influence what leaders pay attention to. Some of the more sophisticated surveys check ‘what matters most to you’ alongside general satisfaction scores. Many organisations also use a whole variety or initiatives including competency frameworks, performance management systems, reward and recognition strategies to identify, publicise, affirm and reinforce behaviours that leaders consider most valuable for the organisation. All of these processes aim at some level to influence perspectives, attitudes and actions. The leadership agenda involves not only understanding what matters most to staff but influencing what people will choose in order to align personal choices and decisions with what the organisation wants or needs. So, what are the key factors that enable us to be effective influencers? Firstly, have a clear and explicit intention. If we have mixed or hidden motives, we lack integrity, others will pick it up intuitively and it will undermine trust. If you’re unsure what your true motives are, reflect on this honestly with a critical colleague or friend beforehand. Secondly, research and understand what matters most to other people. If we can tap into others’ language, culture, values and goals and address them well in what we propose, we are more likely to build bridges and achieve win-win solutions. Thirdly, have a clear sense of what we want others to think, feel or do differently. This enables us to design and communicate messages clearly. I often ask myself before presentations or meetings, for instance: ‘What do I want people to think, feel and do as a result of what I do today?’ Fourthly, reward changes in ways that others value and appreciate. If we ask those we seek to influence, for instance: ‘How do you want to do this?’, ‘What would make this worthwhile for you?’ or ‘What would make a great outcome for you?’, it demonstrates humanity, relationship, humility and respect.
48 Comments
Sabine Jones
25/1/2013 11:18:21 am
Influence is used right from birth, first at home and then complemented at primary school, including the influence from their circle of young friends. As the child progresses through for example secondary school, influence is greater from school/friends and becomes increasingly difficult to guide or influence them at home. The basis is laid, parents can still shave of any rough edges and influence them in certain ways but their own opinions are now formed. I believe the influence from a parent to their young child shapes their future. Sure society influences us all in every day life, be it in the work force or your home environment or media etc. whatever the circumstances. What about the individual genes, children in the same family are raised in the same way, however 1 might be more easily influenced than the other child. Influence is an incredible strong word in every sense, it can be good but can be very damaging as well. Interesting topic, it reads like a tree with many branches branching off. Food or thought, thanks Nick
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Nick Wright
25/1/2013 08:18:30 pm
Hi Sabine and thanks for your thoughts on this topic. I like your mention of influence from early childhood. Children are influenced by parents and others and very quickly learn how to influence too, e.g. by behaving in ways that evoke responses they hope for. I found your emphasis on peer influence helpful and how we can face competing influences in different aspects of our lives.
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Mike Bailey
26/1/2013 12:10:52 am
I believe we start with how we relate to people, if we are genuinely interested in them, concerned for them then we are more likely to have influence. We also need to start where they are, in the same place and accompany them to somewhere new and different. Influence is about trust. On the other hand a lot of what is dressed up as influence in in fact manipulation, tricking people into changing by playing on psychological factors and an understanding of innate behaviours and reactions. Beware this latter approach, the end does not justify the means.
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Nick Wright
26/1/2013 01:36:05 am
Hi Mike and thanks for the stimulating comments. I agree with you that genuine human relationship and trust are positive conditions for influencing and that genuine interest in and concern for the other person or group are good motivations.
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26/1/2013 04:00:34 am
Thought-provoking article, Nick. For my money, the distinction between manipulation and influence is to be found only in the intention. Of course, intentions are often misunderstood or deliberately misinterpreted e.g freedom fighters and terrorists. Thanks again for making my brain click into gear this morning!
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Nick Wright
26/1/2013 05:23:12 am
Hi John and thanks for the note. Yes, I agree that intentions are sometimes misunderstood or misinterpreted. I think this is one the challenges of 'inference' where one party attributes an intention to another party's actions based on, for example,his or her own presuppositions or biases.
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Rowena Wild
26/1/2013 05:38:07 am
another key step in successful influencing is being mindful of the needs and wants of the other party and the timing and state of mind of the other party!
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Nick Wright
26/1/2013 05:49:22 am
Hi Rowena and thanks for the note. Yes, if what the influencer proposes fulfils an unmet need for the other party and is consistent with the other party's values, the other party is more likely to respond positively. I agree that timing and state of mind are important too. Since influence is a dynamic rather than one-way phenomenon, where the other party is at e.g. psychologically, emotionally, econonomically etc. will affect how open he or she is to influence. With best wishes. Nick
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Tim Jones
26/1/2013 09:38:59 am
Influence,
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Nick Wright
27/1/2013 08:35:27 am
Hi Tim and thanks for thought-provoking comments. I would agree that religion has exerted considerable influence over the years in people's and societies' worldviews, values, behaviours etc. In some people's lives and in some societies that continues to be the case.
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Ray Woods
27/1/2013 08:36:54 am
I worked for over 30 years at Cadbury UK. We had a new MD who was passionate, a visionary, an empowerer, a risk taker and a very nice guy. He gave his full backing to anyone thinking out of the box whereas previous regimes had rewarded those who stayed in their comfort zone. Suddenly staff felt re-energised and motivated, no longer corsetted by control freaks. During his period, he grew both profit and market - bu then the Board refused to give him the top job, employed an ex corporate planner who has a personality bypass who sold the Company out and lined his own pockets in the process so if I had to choose one factor it would be RESPECT and more broadly - leadership by example.
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Ray Woods
27/1/2013 08:38:49 am
Like they say - nobody got fired for choosing IBM (or SAP) but maybe they should have done and then Western economies would be more productive. That is why SME's are far more effective in growing jobs than the old US and European dinosaurs.
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Nick Wright
27/1/2013 08:42:40 am
Hi Ray and thanks for the note. I think you raise an important point about leadership by example, in other words, role modelling. Whether as parents, teachers, sports personalities, business leaders or other people in authority or high profile positions, we influence as much by our actions as our words - whether we are aware of it or not. With best wishes. Nick
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MtcGlobalSolution.com
27/1/2013 08:37:53 am
Powerful! But very dangerous if this power is misused....
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Nick Wright
27/1/2013 08:55:32 am
Hi Mtc. I agree. I think of, for instance, the powerful influence parents can have on children's outlook and being-in-the-world; the powerful influence teachers can have on students' aspirations to achieve high standards; the powerful influence spiritual leaders can have on transforming people's beliefs, values and behaviours; the powerful influence campaigning charities can have on government policies that affect the vulnerable and the poor; the powerful influence organisational leaders can have on ethical business practices etc. The list goes on. As you caution, however, the same inspirational and influencing methods, dynamics and techniques can be dangerous if used, for instance, manipulatively, malevolently or for selfish gain. With best wishes. Nick
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27/1/2013 12:29:45 pm
Hi Nick,
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Nick Wright
27/1/2013 01:02:27 pm
Thanks for such an inspiring reflection, Funmi. I like the idea of influence as alongside-ness. It suggests influence as something we do with others rather than something we do to others. In that sense, it's a lot like leadership as being-with on a shared journey. That reminds me of how Jesus describes the Spirit in the gospels. With best wishes. Nick
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27/1/2013 12:35:16 pm
Hi Nick I read this blog when you first posted it, it touched something and I wanted to responded...but what I wanted to say didnt emerge until this evening driving home. The art of influence is not to influence - and to just be. To be comfortable and at one with oneself - the presence of being and letting go of any attachment to the way things should be - this will inspires others.
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Nick Wright
27/1/2013 01:17:23 pm
Hi Karen and thanks for the note. 'The art of influence is not to influence' sounds quite Zen to me, a deep paradox. I like it. I also like your comment on 'the presence of being and letting go of any attachment to the way things should be'. It reminds me of here-and-now awareness-as-transformation in Gestalt psychology and mindfulness in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
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Bridget
28/1/2013 12:31:16 am
Hi Nick
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Nick Wright
28/1/2013 12:45:48 am
Hi Bridget and thanks for sharing a personal account of influencing and the power of role modelling as a leader. (You do seem to have a thing for red!).
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Doug Chorpenning
28/1/2013 02:32:00 am
My approach towards "influencing" others is to focus on attraction vs. promotion. If we live our values and purpose out loud, others that see a connection and want some of what we have, will approach us to learn more. This has much deeper positive impact on the people in my life. I, in turn, look for those that I am attracted to and position myself closely to these individuals.
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Nick Wright
28/1/2013 10:24:15 am
Hi Doug and thanks for the note. I found your contrast between attraction and promotion interesting. It's as if, at some level, attraction places the focus of attention (e.g. who needs to change) on ourselves rather than on the other party whom we may hope to influence. I like your emphasis on role modelling and relationship. With best wishes. Nick
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Caroline Esterson
28/1/2013 03:32:31 am
I think influence is something very personal to the reciever - for me its about the passion someone conveys and yet for my partner it is about the words.
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Nick Wright
28/1/2013 10:34:45 am
Hi Caroline. Thanks for the comments and for sharing a great personal example. What you wrote about the significance of the receiver reminded me of some reflections I have on leadership... something about leadership as a dynamic between people rather than simply some attribute of the leader or something the leader does.
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Lisa Gorman
28/1/2013 03:49:16 am
We just bought a new car. It was the first time we've shopped at a local dealer (we live in the Blue Mountains). What influenced us? There were only 2 staff on the lot. The Sunday guy and the boss who owns the business with his brother. We were able to test drive the car within 5 minutes of arriving at the dealership. We received a full explanation of benefits, features, facts and figures. There was NO smoozing or bul@#$!! The guy was straight up and down the line. He negotiated fairly. He got the sale, we got the car we wanted and will pick it up on Wednesday.
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Nick Wright
28/1/2013 10:42:07 am
Hi Lisa and thanks for sharing such a helpful personal example. I was interested in the conditions you described that led to you feeling able to trust the seller. It sounds like the fact that the person came across to you as straightforward and genuine (rather than smoozing and bul@#$) meant you felt positively disposed to listen and respond. I've had similar experiences, positive and negative, when dealing with sales people and have felt similar reactions to your own. I hope the car works out to be all you hope for! With best wishes. Nick
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Steve Berry
28/1/2013 05:28:36 am
I agree with Caroline - it is not 'one size fits all' but rather reading the other person and pressing THEIR buttons. I've not come across colourworks - but it looks similar to www.EvaluationStore.com
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Nick Wright
28/1/2013 10:49:36 am
Hi Steve. Thanks for the note and for sharing the practical personal example. Thanks too for the link to the Evaluation Store. I particularly liked the point in the evaluation section you mentioned: 'We are often told to treat other people as we would like to be treated..It makes more sense and results in better communication and relationship if we treat other people as THEY want to be treated.' It emphasises the point that people are more likely to be open to influence if we connect first with the needs and values that matter most to them. With best wishes. Nick
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Graham Williams
30/1/2013 11:31:55 am
Hi Nick, I think that people are influenced only after they perceive the other to have credibility. How credibility is established is a long conversation of course....
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Nick Wright
30/1/2013 11:38:05 am
Hi Graham and thanks for the note. Yes, a friend and colleague often advocates that the three most important qualities in any professional relationship are rapport, credibility and trust. Your mention of credibility reminded me of a short article I once wrote exploring key qualities of effective consultants which may be of interest: http://www.nick-wright.com/three-cs-of-consulting.html. With best wishes. Nick
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Graham Williams
31/1/2013 07:59:58 am
I know its a bit linear, but for me when one has credibility (which comes from exhibiting confidence and competence, then rapport-building develops more easily and quickly, and respect and trust result ......
Penny Barratt
31/1/2013 08:07:43 am
Hi Nick, I think I would add appropriate knowledge as well as the 3 you mention above, which I agree with. Nobody is influenced surely by somebody who is full of bull.... yet they may be charmed by others who can create an atmosphere of trust and rapport but without substance behind it. I love debating issues and I see a major role of mine here, involved in HR in Qatar, as influencing and affecting change, but as its for the greater good rather than personal gain (though I do get professional satisfaction from a job well done) working with passion to influence outcomes seems a positive thing.
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Nick Wright
31/1/2013 09:16:15 am
Hi Penny and thanks for the comments. I agree with you that relevant knowledge is important. That’s part (for me) of what credibility implies – having the right knowledge and skills to contribute to what matters to the client and to influence change. I like your mention of passion too. In my experience, people are often influenced as much by genuine passion, conviction and commitment as they are by rational argument or persuasion. I would love to hear more about how you navigate cultural dynamics in Qatar when seeking to influence within that environment. With best wishes. Nick
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Penny Barratt
5/2/2013 11:42:44 am
Hi Nick, it takes a few hours to give a picture of Qatar and I have spent many here with new arrivals or interested people sharing knowledge and research I have undertaken here on labour market issues, skills gaps, HR & soft skills educational and training needs and the business case for HR to be improved here. I guess what people pick up on is my committment to the bigger picture, passion, willingness to share information, willingness to connect people and that I do this mostly for the love of it as I don't always do it for money. So it's all the things already identified but with an awareness of how things fit here in Qatar while slightly pushing the boundries to encourage learning and development but without undermining their values and cultural norms.
Steve Berry
1/2/2013 02:18:52 am
Regrettably I have to respectfully disagree with both Graham and Penny. If what you both say were true, the vast majority of our Westminster MPs would have no influence whatsoever. unfortunately, despite most missing your standards (or in some cases being polar opposites of what you are suggesting), they have far too much influence.
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Graham Williams
1/2/2013 08:55:01 am
Yes Steve. I think that power (positional and other) can be wielded negatively, and influence positively - and that's what Penny and I were referring to. A school Head can wield power over pupils in an autocratic manner and lay down the law, and can also influence through positive role-modeling. So I think ther's a distinction between the art of influencing and the wielding of positional power.
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Nick Wright
1/2/2013 09:00:31 am
Interesting challenge, Steve. What would you attribute the influence to that MPs and those in the businesses you have worked with have held or found themselves able to exert? With best wishes. Nick
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Steve Berry
1/2/2013 09:02:05 am
good question Nick - I think Graham's answer is good - the use of positional power is probably the one I have seen misused the most. The school Head Teacher example is particularly useful (I have 3 children at 2 schools with the most superb Head Teachers - their influencing skills are so fantastic, they never have to resort to the use of positional power).
Arthur O'Loan
1/2/2013 08:54:04 am
Hi Nick
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Nick Wright
1/2/2013 09:08:57 am
Hi Arthur and thanks for the note. Sounds like the person you had in mind had charisma, directness and a determined attitude, outlook and approach that engaged and inspired others. I love that expression you ended with, '...we're not going into the future backwards!' Excellent. With best wishes. Nick
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Graham Williams
7/2/2013 07:19:14 am
Today I came across Cialdini's Influence: science and practice.The blurb says he's the world's leading authority on the science of influence and persuasion. I've started reading. (His 6 principles - I don't yet have any definitions or exposition - are authority, consistency, reciprocation, social proof, scarcity and liking)......
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Judith Sharman
9/2/2013 09:34:19 am
Hi Nick and Graham, just to repeat Graham - Cialdini's work is as relevant today as when the book was first published! Thanks for your interesting article, J
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Simon Strong
14/2/2013 05:15:17 am
In addition to Cialdini, you should also have a look at Perfect Pitch by Jon Steel, and Chip and Dan Heath - Made To Stick.
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Graham Williams
14/2/2013 05:16:10 am
Haven't come across Perfect Pitch but will make a point of accessing. Thanks Simon.
Stella Collins
28/2/2013 11:29:48 am
Totally agree with the endorsement of Robert Cialdini's work and he's got a new book coming out soon - watch out for it.
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Abhishek Vardhan
2/3/2013 07:58:15 am
Yes, influence is an art. Correct pitch is required. I agree.
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Nick Wright
2/3/2013 07:58:59 am
Thanks Abhishek. With best wishes. Nick
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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