The edge of experience

1/4/2013

Reaching 64 lengths felt like quite a stretch. I normally swim around 25 so pushing for a mile felt exciting yet daunting. When I did reach the final strokes, I felt tired yet exhilarated. It was a good feeling, a feeling of achieving something beyond my normal boundaries, routine, comfort zone. In that moment, I felt more alive somehow as if I had extended my boundaries into a new space. I was spurred on to test my limits by a good friend who takes his own sport, motorcycling, to extremes, perfecting his riding technique in every detail and crossing continents in ways I only dream of. Rho Sandberg added inspiration in her deeply thought-provoking blog, ‘Working with our Edges and No-Go Zones’: http://thegritintheoyster.cleconsulting.com.au/blog/working-our-edges-and-no-go-zones.

Rho, a coach and consultant, comments on how each time we reach the border of our experience, it’s as if we reach an edge. The edge represents an opportunity for growth and something new yet it can also sometimes feel unsettling, disorientating and anxiety-provoking. We may at times hesitate, avoid or pull back to avoid the discomfort or fear of what may lie beyond. ‘Will I be able to handle it?’ It could be a new relationship, a new job or taking something familiar to the next level. The edge can symbolise adventure...and risk. I remember that feeling vividly, the first time I set off to hitch hike around Europe. I had never done it before and felt butterflies of anxiety and thrill as I made preparations and finally stood at the road side, waiting for that first lift that would signal the start.

Rho comments that, ‘An edge is the limit to what we know and are comfortable with’ and ‘a coach or consultant’s key contribution can be holding and supporting the client at the edge long enough for them to discover a little more about it’. This echoes with my own experience as coach, supporting people who face fresh opportunities and challenges in life or who are working through change and transition. It inspires me to continually develop my own thinking and practice too…how to keep growing, extending my own boundaries and not to stay within my safe circle of experience. My next challenge is to cycle 1,000 miles and I can already feel myself touching that edge. Rho’s advice: ‘The edge is an interesting place – I recommend taking a torch to find your way around.’

29 Comments

Jun Dulay

1/4/2013 04:19:38 am

Yes, at the edge of experience is a leap into the unknown, sometimes by choice, other times by necessity and a few times, foolishly jumping into the dark space and whatever happens, charge it to experience. Early in my career, I took that leap of faith when I took on the job of building a big-enough pilot plant to cover one wing of the Engineering building where I studied. The American professor gave me a flow-sheet, a list of equipment needed, discussed the sanitation requirements being a food plant and left the next day. Only to come back when the plant was ready to run. It may have been a sense of bravado that I took on the assignment with nobody to help me go through it. But the feeling of achievement when the professor saw how his expectations were exceeded simply erased the times of self-doubt and the quizzical look the other professors had given me. And this became something that I successfully repeated a few more times when I got employed with a multi-business corporation. The thought of failure was simply overshadowed by a determination to succeed using every bit of knowledge acquired and inspired by the trust given by superiors. These successes inspired me to replace a defunct professional/technical classification system with a strategic result-focused, competency-based system and I remembered the same look of disbelief from corporate HR.

Living at the edge is exciting and it can be done successfully if one can muster every resource available and create something new to build a path to successful completion of an idea. The edge is not a marked delineation between what is known and unknown. There is a space where a glimmer of light can help you keep pushing forward, leaving behind areas of bright light which somehow help brighten up the area before you to make it a bit easier to see.

Nick Wright

1/4/2013 01:03:17 pm

Hi Jun and thanks for sharing such great examples of where you've been courageous and taken the opportunity and risk to do something new. I was struck by your being inspired by others' trust in you and by your determination to succeed. I loved your vivid and inspiring words at the end: 'There is a space where a glimmer of light can help you keep pushing forward, leaving behind areas of bright light which somehow help brighten up the area before you...' With best wishes. Nick

Kevin Murnane

1/4/2013 06:17:17 am

‘An edge is the limit to what we know and are comfortable with’ and ‘a coach or consultant’s key contribution can be holding and supporting the client at the edge long enough for them to discover a little more about it’.

This is an inspiring blog, thank you. I am at the edge in both my business and personal life, and it is a great reminder to ask for help so that I can stay at the edge--with curiosity and passion.

1/4/2013 01:09:12 pm

Hi Kevin and thanks for the note. Sounds like a potentially exciting time for you. I liked your mention of asking for help. Having others support, encourage and challenge us along the way can be a great help. I also liked your emphasis on curiosity and passion - great qualities to keep in focus. Keep us posted on what happens as you face and work through the edge? With best wishes. Nick

2/4/2013 03:59:22 am

Kevin, yes being at the edge with curiosity and passion will keep you aware of changing circumstances and help you push further to find your edge of incompetence which can still be pushed backwards through the help of friends.

Mary Duddy

1/4/2013 01:11:57 pm

Nick, you could have started this just for me. i am starting out on a new venture and i am filled with doubts about my staying power, my energy level, my ability to organize in a timely manner and those are just the doubts that i have identified! This does inspire me and also humbles me, there are many others who have gone through similar, different, challenging, and many more who will. and if you are wondering, yes i have looked at my strengths, abilities, talents, and there are probably more. Thank you. i am looking forward to others commenting on this.

1/4/2013 01:18:58 pm

Hi Mary and thanks for such an honest response. I can certainly identify with how you are feeling at the moment, 'filled with doubts about my staying power, my energy level, my ability...'. You may be interested to see some of the comments under some reflections I jotted down recently about courage, something I often struggle with: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/11/a-couragous-spirit.html. I would love to hear if anything in it speaks to you, or if you have insights and experiences that would add to the conversation. With best wishes as you continue on what sounds like a journey of faith. Nick

Diana Brown

1/4/2013 02:42:28 pm

Wonderful to find this with you again, Nick. I am once again reminded of a beautiful quote in compliment to your accomplishment, and I often reflect on it to be of inspiration. I hope you, and readers will too:

"One can never creep when one has the impulse to soar." Helen Keller

So, off we soar, with smiles, as to what we all will discover next. Good luck with your goal, Nick. I have no doubt you will accomplish it.

1/4/2013 02:44:03 pm

Hi Diana and thanks for sharing such inspiring words from Helen Keller. I really liked your words too, 'so off we soar, with smiles, to what we will all discover next'. :) With best wishes. Nick

Joe Schoemann link

1/4/2013 03:50:30 pm

Pushing oneself to new limits should have some positive purpose. You can achieve the satisfaction a newly broken barrier give with trivialities, for a stupid example, counting to a higher number than the day before, or skipping on one leg for x number of hours.
The greatest and most difficult barriers are those which break negative habbits and character traits. Try and see if you can greet everyone you meet for the next x hours with a friendly smile. Then better it the following day by extending to 2x hours. The exhillaration of improved human relationships exceds that of swimming a mile.
( i do 500 meters 3 time a week, but I will give 1 Kilimeter a try).

1/4/2013 05:19:21 pm

Hi Joe and thanks for the thought-provoking comments. I agree with you that the best goals or edges to push outwards are those with some positive, meaningful purpose. It certainly aids motivation and improves the chances of persevering when things get tough.

I agree with you too that the most difficult barriers to break are habits and character traits. That's certainly true in my experience. I like your emphasis on improved human relationships and your positive example of increasing friendly smiles.

I'm impressed you swim 500 metres 3 times a week. Let us know how you get on with the 1 kilometer challenge! :) With best wishes. Nick

Patty Ollies

1/4/2013 05:14:48 pm

Nick, I appreciated your blog and Rho's too. I often talk about 'growing edges' as the places in my life that I need more experience and practice. Sometimes we avoid the edges because we fear 'falling' or 'failure', but in reality we will never know the exhilaration or thrill of achievement if we never push the 'edge'.
Thanks for this!

1/4/2013 05:24:57 pm

Hi Patty and thanks for the note. I think you captured the challenges and joys of pushing the edges very well. Yes, there is a special kind of positive feeling that we only experience when we conquer something that previously felt beyond us to achieve. I guess that thrill of accomplishment is one of the things that makes it feel worthwhile to take the plunge and to stay with it? With best wishes. Nick

Christina Venter

2/4/2013 02:05:39 pm

Thanks Nick for sharing and reminding us of why living on the edge is such a great thing to do. Somehow deep inside we know that those who must and will partake to assure success are always present.

2/4/2013 02:16:02 pm

Hi Christina and thanks for the note. Yes, living on the edge is often where we feel most alive, even if it can feel scary at times. With best wishes. Nick

Dale

2/4/2013 04:20:22 pm

Awesome blog!

3/4/2013 01:11:17 am

Thanks, Dale! :) With best wishes. Nick

Geoffrey Morton-Haworth

3/4/2013 01:25:01 am

Vygotsky, Zone of Proximal Development, and...?

3/4/2013 01:26:53 am

Hi Geoffrey and thanks for the note. I looked up that reference on Amazon and couldn't see it. Is it a book or one of Vygotsy's areas of theory and research? I would love to hear more if you'd be happy to explain it. :) With best wishes. Nick

3/4/2013 09:50:37 am

Hi Nick

This, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lev_Vygotsky

That is, we learn most when we dare to push beyond the level of skills we can develop working alone because we have something (an instructor, for example) mitigating the risk of failure.

3/4/2013 09:53:10 am

Hi Geoffrey and thanks for the link and the explanation. I hadn't come across Vygotsky before and the relationship between learning, development and support described in the wiki notes is fascinating. Fits well with related notions of leadership, mentoring and coaching. With best wishes. Nick

Terrence Seamon

3/4/2013 06:16:35 am

Another excellent piece, Nick. I love how to integrate the edge experience with coaching.

In my work with people who are 'in transition' following organizational upheavals, I find myself working with people who have gone over the edge, into the abyss of Unknown, Uncertainty, and high levels of Anxiety.

Rho is definitely right when she says 'bring a torch.' As coaches, helping people through 'the dark night of the soul,' we better have a good torch.

3/4/2013 06:24:00 am

Hi Terrence and thanks for your encouraging feedback. Your comment about working with people who have gone over the edge, into the abyss of unknown, uncertainty and anxiety reminded me of a collegue who once drove a change curve with a large crack at the bottom during a leadership meeting. He asked rhetorically but profoundly, 'what about the people who fall down the crevasse at the bottom and can't find their way out again?' I would be very interested to hear more about how you work with people who find themselves in this situation, people perhaps who have felt pushed over the edge rather than it being something of their choosing. With thanks and best wishes. Nick

4/4/2013 09:05:52 am

Nick,
You asked, "I would be very interested to hear more about how you work with people who find themselves in this situation, people perhaps who have felt pushed over the edge rather than it being something of their choosing."

At the risk of taking this discussion in a new direction, the strategy is to help them through the emotions (e.g. shock, denial, anger, depression etc) connected to the natural change curve they are experiencing, moving them toward self-empowerment.

There is much more to say. Perhaps this should be a new discussion thread.

Funmi Johnson link

4/4/2013 03:08:01 pm

Hi Nick,

I'm feeling a bit of a trend developing. I've just finished reading an article on challenging coaching by Ian Day and John Blakely and here you are talking about the edge. In the past year, i've had 3 edges:

1. Moving back to Nigeria, because my husband got a job here
2. Starting my own business
3. Discovering that I love writing and submitting articles for publication.
I'm still fighting the first edge (i'm a bit stubborn like that) , but am coming to the realisation that without the first, the other two wouldn't have happened and i would never have found out what i'm capable of. I guess the lesson here is that if God has permitted it, then i am more than capable of dealing with it.

Thanks for a brilliant piece as usual.

5/4/2013 12:58:27 am

Hi Funmi. Thanks for sharing such a personal account of the edges you are touching at the moment, and for your kind feedback. It sounds like the past year has brought all kinds of opportunities and challenges for you. Your comment, 'I am coming to the realisation that without the first, the other two wouldn't have happened and I would never have found out what I am capable of' reminded me of a Taoist proverb I shared in this blog: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/12/whats-really-going-on-here.html. Let me know if it resonates for you. I liked your final comment and it certainly rings true with biblical teaching, including that you are more than capable of dealing with it because God himself will equip you. May you discover more exciting things than you had ever hoped or dreamed of. With many blessings. Nick

4/4/2013 09:11:54 pm

Terrence, I did come up with similar situations. For example, taking over a department in R&D where the Director wanted me to set a higher work standard. Or starting up a new plant with new graduates who had no previous work experience. In these circumstances, I sat down with them and discussed expectations. The changes were not simply behavioral or emotions but also technical. Having an open atmosphere of learning, mentoring and teamwork, we were able to overcome the "deficiency" except for one who could not cope with the new standard. The only recourse was to have an honest discussion with the person and give a possible way out such as transferring to another unit within the organization with the help of HR. The person, however, decided to resign to save face.

5/4/2013 01:02:11 am

Hi Jun. Your approach in the situation you describe reminded me of that advocated by Rosabeth Moss-Kanter: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/12/change-leadership-principles.html. With best wishes. Nick

Bridget

14/4/2013 02:13:59 pm

Hi Nick
I’ve just been reflecting today about new “ventures” and directions and your edge blog came to mind.

I’m reminded about the courage blog that you wrote a while back. It feels as if an edge is quite a personal thing, ie one person’s edge is another person’s comfort zone. I wonder also whether there is something about timing and growth relating to edges which may also relate to the comment about “falling over the edge”. In other words, you might have an adventurous spirit and want to navigate the edge however a lack of maturity or energy may cause you to fall over the edge if you are not ready for it?

I’ve just recently take a big decision in my leadership journey – to take time out. I’m grateful for the opportunity. Some people have described it as brave, others as exciting. For me, it was the only way to regain peace. It sort of became non-negotiable. There were lots of “edges” that I could have explored but without the inner resource to do so, I was wobbling and in danger of falling flat on my face. There was also the nagging question of whether I was navigating the right edges.

I’m becoming more conscious now of other edges that I will be exploring. Those uncomfortable internal edges which cause us to act in a certain way, perceive things in a certain way and limit what we can do or what God can do through us. I’m excited about using this time to become more robust and better equipped for future leadership edges. I’m starting to get hopeful about what God can do in and through me.

I’m encouraged by Ephesians 2 v10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Blessings Nick and thanks for your thought provoking blogs, as always!
B