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An organisation I work with is moving office this weekend. I spoke with one person today who commented that he feels sad to leave the building. When I invited him to elaborate, he explained that he has worked with the organisation for 15 years. He has seen and experienced lots of changes and yet this, somehow, feels like the end of an era in the organisation’s life and in his life too. The change from one building to another feels like an important physical and psychological transition.
There’s an idea in developmental psychology that, from an early age, during times of change we can attach meaning to objects that provide a sense of comfort and security (see, for instance, ‘More Than Just Teddy Bears’: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-guest-room/201407/more-just-teddy-bears). We could think of this as a bit like a person who clings onto a piece of drift wood when lost at sea. The wood can keep the person afloat and reduce the feeling of (total) isolation. If the piece of wood is from the broken ship, it can provide a sense of psychological connection with what-was before. Holding onto the wood can provide a psychological sense of safety. It isn’t just me vs endless, boundary-less water. I am with this object, the log, and the log is with me. The log, by keeping me afloat, can provide me with a psychological sense of hope that I will get through this. In this sense, the log can take on a psychological significance for me that lays far beyond the log itself. If we apply this insight during change in people’s and organisations’ lives, we can look out for things – whether, say, objects or routines – that people or groups now imbue with special significance. It could be, for instance, a photo or plant on the desk, a habitual conversation at coffee break, whatever people need to provide (enough) sense of security as they move forward. To offer support in the midst of this, avoid the temptation to label as ‘resistance’ and ask simply, ‘What do you need?’
86 Comments
Simona Costea
28/4/2017 08:16:31 pm
Beside "what do you need" you can also ask, what would you like to take with you as a memory from this place? This would be the ''log ' you reference :). This is part of ''mourning' or saying 'good bye' is not resistance...
Nick Wright
28/4/2017 08:17:11 pm
Thanks Simona. I really like that idea. Very human.
Karen Harness FCIPD
1/5/2017 03:45:05 pm
Really nice post.
Nick Wright
1/5/2017 03:45:32 pm
Thanks Karen. :)
Anne Crawford
2/5/2017 04:48:53 am
Nick, you are so right. I am a career transition coach and so many of my clients have a hard time letting go of their " titles", of what they believe they are. Hard to imagine since they say their careers are exhausting them and not matching their personal or business ethics. So like you , we discuss what they can bring along for the next chapter in their lives. I focus on what strong traits and skills are they the most proud of. Once that is established then we work on what vision do they see for themselves in their next new career or career move (same career, different environment). This helps get them to see what tasks , they can transport to the next big thing in their life. Like a security blanket for the soul. Makes them feel in control and validated. Small steps are necessary to not only engage the emotional side of moving on, but to gain trust in the process to actually allow it to happen.
Nick Wright
2/5/2017 04:54:36 am
Thanks Anne. Job titles are a great example of something that can become very important to people during times of change. If the job title feels threatened, the person's whole sense of self can feel threatened. I really like the way you enable people to build bridges (e.g. by focusing on strong traits and skills) from one state and situation to another. I love your expression: 'security blanket for the soul'!
Shirley Jones
2/5/2017 12:48:17 pm
An excellent post. The question"What do you need?" is the one that could help them move their needle from braking to moving forward easily and with confidence because it can only come from them.
Nick Wright
2/5/2017 12:49:44 pm
Thanks Shirley. Yes, I think there's something about paying attention to what we need and making our own choices and decisions that can be and feel incredibly empowering.
Yildiz Sethi
3/5/2017 03:05:24 am
Need to become a bit of a counsellor. Help them find their own solutions.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 03:06:40 am
Hi Yildiz. Yes, I think 'What do you need?' points in that direction.
Cara Heilmann
3/5/2017 03:12:51 am
Transitions. Worked with a woman who was leaving her first job out of residency. She entered as a psychologist and left as the director of integrated health. So hard to leave on so many levels. Great subject.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 03:14:45 am
Thanks Cara. Sounds intriguing! Can you say more?
Ingrid Weening-Meestringa
3/5/2017 06:54:32 am
This is wonderful: to give people room to express their feelings and to look for 'logs' to hold on to together. To really help them through the hard times by really paying attention to their needs. Love it!
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 06:58:03 am
Thanks Ingrid! :)
Shyleswari Mohan - LHEP ™, PCC
3/5/2017 02:03:59 pm
It's also possible for them to see what they choose to pack into the new beginnings.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 02:04:55 pm
Hi Shyleswari. Could you say a little more about what you mean, perhaps with an example from experience to illustrate it?
Martine Young
3/5/2017 02:06:15 pm
That's nice, thanks Nick.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 02:06:45 pm
Thanks Martine. You're welcome. :)
Rob Freestone
3/5/2017 02:07:51 pm
Thanks Nick for another interesting article. As someone who works with those leaving the Armed Forces helping them make the transition into 'civilian life' I found it interesting to see if there was more I could do to help support my clients. To be honest we actively encourage them to leave their old life behind, getting rid of ranks and military terminology to help make a successful transition. I'm hoping that their 'transitional object' wouldn't be a weapon of some sort as that could create problems during the workshops I run!
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 02:10:18 pm
Thanks Rob. I guess it partly depends on what people find useful to bridge their past and future and what would be unhelpful for them? Your comment about the weapon made me laugh! :)
Debora S Humphreys
3/5/2017 05:40:43 pm
Our role in facilitating transitions of any kind is an honor and opportunity to encourage folks to not only explore the needs, but also the meaning of what they are leaving behind. Rich material from which to build.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 05:43:44 pm
Hi Debora. Yes, exploring meaning and significance can be valuable too. I'm reminded of a quotation from Bolman & Deal in their book Reframing Organisations: 'What matters to people is not what happens but what it means.'
Pamela Shepherd
3/5/2017 05:45:37 pm
Interesting.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 05:45:59 pm
Thanks Pamela.
SP Consults
3/5/2017 11:38:28 pm
Good topic and question. It's an important to remain open-minded and empathetic when helping people grow and go through transitions. I attentively listen and encourage them to express their emotions realizing people grieve in different ways in different environments. Change can be hard; when one has to start over it is a great oppportunity to reflect and connect on lessons learned. Checking in with people is important because some people are more resilient than others to cope with emotions during transitions.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 11:42:02 pm
Thanks SP. Yes, open-mindedness and empathy are important to each individual, group and situation. Whereas some may grieve for the past, others may be filled with excitement and hope about the future. Enabling people to make the transition can build their resilience for future transitions too.
Debra Lynch
3/5/2017 11:42:47 pm
Thank you a group I've belonged to for many years has moved several times and it wasn't always a friendly transition this certainly helps my feelings and gives me an idea of how I may be able to help others stay focused on the fact that only the building is changed...
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 11:47:37 pm
Thanks Debra. It sounds like you have been through some difficult transitions. Sometimes it is only the building that changes, sometimes other things change too - e.g. relationships, ways of working etc. I guess part of the transitions issue is about helping people be aware of what matters most to them in the change and what they might need to deal with changes well. In my experience, people are often able to let go of 'transitional objects' once they feel settled and safe in the new reality.
Terrence O'Toole
3/5/2017 11:51:06 pm
You need to manage the ending as well as the new beginning. See william bridges material.
Nick Wright
3/5/2017 11:52:34 pm
Hi Terrence. Yes, William Bridges has done excellent work in this area, especially his book, 'Managing Transitions'.
Martine Donachie
3/5/2017 11:54:25 pm
Oh wow Nick, I recently managed the relocation of the Headquartes of an organization. This meant I had to mobilise an entire organisation that had spent decades in a small town in the winelands of Cape Town to the CBD. Change Management was THE biggest element. I too had employees who had felt they had "grown" up in that particular space, and were resistant to change. Our approach was to acknowledge the resistance and have a robust change Management plan that incorporated the entire organisation. The change Management approach was fun and interactive. Whether they had been employed for the company for 1 month to 35 years the aim was inclusivity. And yes...through this journey the entire underlying approach was inclusivity and meeting the employees needs to a point.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 12:01:19 am
Hi Martine. That sounds like quite a challenge! I find it useful to distinguish between change (e.g. buildings, locations, logistics, technology etc) and transition (e.g. psychological and relational dimensions). I wrote a couple of other short pieces on this theme. In light of your experiences, I would be interested to hear what you think? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/exploring-transition; http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/leading-through-transition
Astrid Davies
4/5/2017 09:11:28 am
This is a really helpful technique which I have been using for years. It requires a careful balance, however, to prevent the 'old' becoming a new norm through all the different photos, plants, mugs etc etc from a past life.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 09:15:03 am
Hi Astrid. In my experience, people often let go of transitional objects once they feel settled, safe and successful in the new reality. I guess the concern you raise partly depends on how far such artifacts from the past hold people back psychologically and culturally from moving into a different place where they need to be.
Astrid Davies
4/5/2017 06:47:36 pm
Hello Nick Yes I agree fully. It's so important to listen, observe and communicate (in that order as Dr Covey would want it to be!).
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 06:49:04 pm
Hi Astrid. Yes, I think Covey would approve! :) By the way, you may find this related piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/exploring-transition Let me know what you think.
Gail Ann Buckner Luna
4/5/2017 09:23:23 am
Thank you for the post. I remember "Who Moved My Cheese". Our upper management made sure we all saw it and offered some other helpful exercises in anticipation of big upcoming change. It did help some of us a little, some it helped not at all. Attitude is everything.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 09:25:31 am
Thanks Gail. You're welcome. Yes, attitude makes a very big difference. It's partly about enabling people to connect with what matters most to them during times of transition and how to address what they need. In that sense, perhaps, it's about awareness and mindset too.
Kim Adams
4/5/2017 09:26:44 am
Love this.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 09:28:39 am
Thanks Kim. :) You may like this related piece too? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/exploring-transition
Phil Rigotti
4/5/2017 09:30:12 am
Thanks Nick for your post - you raise such an important issue. I think it's helpful for us to remember that our attachment to physical things (like Teddy Bears & buildings) is initially a physiological one. The emotional connection comes after that. In the context you speak about, i.e. workplaces / buildings, we have to take onboard the physiological connection that people experience from their environment. The sensory experience we have of our environment is by-and-large subconscious but nonetheless impacts on all our body systems, including our emotional state. Working in a building over a long period means that our system gets used to the airflow in the building, the lighting (natural and otherwise), the noise level, the textures (carpets, chairs, walls), the 'hum' from electronic equipment, and so on. In much the same way as a childhood Teddy helps us to regulate and contain ourselves, those staff that express sadness at moving out of a particular building are facing the loss of a range of sensory experiences that is not only about the emotional connection. Something as relatively simple as moving from an 'old' building with opening windows to a 'new' building with climate control can have a profound impact on individual well-being with some staff just not being able to physiologically tolerate the change. This lack of tolerance will commonly be understood as being an emotional resistance to change processes when in many instances there is something more visceral happening.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 09:37:20 am
Thanks Phil. I think you have shared a very insightful and important perspective - and explained it beautifully! It reminded me of Gestalt - are you familiar with it?
Luke Wardle
4/5/2017 09:39:42 am
“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 09:40:55 am
Hi Luke. Thanks for sharing from Tolle!
Kaur Lass
4/5/2017 09:42:00 am
... or we could teach people what are feelings and how to handle them. Too often people seek security where there is none. Fact is: everything is constantly changing. So, hanging on to a thing or things as something to secure security is a false belief. Luke Wardle has valid point here!
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 09:54:44 am
Hi Kaur. Thanks for the note. I believe that transitions can touch on existential and spiritual issues, e.g. who am I, what is the purpose of my life? I agree that positive thinking can be good but, for dealing with the deepest transitions, it isn't enough. Your perspective on on-going change and how we can handle it reminds me of some insights and ideas in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). Are you familiar with it?
Kaur Lass
8/5/2017 09:53:52 am
Hi Nick. No I am not at all familiar with Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. What I talk about are intra-personal (‘intra’ meaning inside) skills - the basic skills that open up other skills, much like learning to read does: when one learns to read, many other skills and competencies can be developed as a result. In practice we all have awareness. In reality we use it to notice and compare things. We use it when we are creative. We use it when we have insights. Maybe when a company moves, people should compare what would be better? What would be if they notice the benefits for the whole team (instead of looking only their own pain from habit change)?
Nick Wright
8/5/2017 10:04:58 am
Hi Kaur. Thanks for sharing such thought-provoking ideas. I think 'awareness', like consciousness, is a really interesting concept and experience. I once studied with a psychotherapist who commented that, after many years in practice, 'The more I think about awareness, the less I understand it.' I also worked with a psychosynthesis coach who had some similar ideas in this area around, say, disidentification. In my own coaching studies, training and practice, I have focused on Gestalt which has a similar emphasis on the importance and value of awareness. I like your idea of fundamental skills (e.g. reading) and how these may be developed. It raises interesting questions about which skills really are fundamental and if and how they can be developed in practice.
Mags Donovan Assoc CIPD
4/5/2017 06:42:07 pm
I found this article very interesting. I know from personal experience that we can associate milestones in our lives with places for example children being born at home - parents feel attached to the house because of the event not the house. Thought provoking thank you.
Nick Wright
4/5/2017 06:45:46 pm
Thanks Mags. You're welcome. :) That is a great example of how a physical object like a house can take on a special psychological significance. On the topic of objects that take on special significance during transitions, you may find this related piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/exploring-transition Let me know what you think.
Kim Gregory, MBA, Chartered FCIPD, ICF
5/5/2017 02:45:28 am
Thanks for sharing, Nick. Embodying objects with meaning hasn't been something I've thought about for a long time so a really helpful reminder. Thanks.
Nick Wright
5/5/2017 02:46:04 am
Hi Kim. You're welcome. :)
Tina McDonald, CHRL, CTDP
7/5/2017 10:44:38 am
Thank you for this Nick. My organization is in the midst of a major transition and I am leading sessions on resiliency and change. Today I found out that I would be moving offices to a different location and separated from many of my co-workers. I have to admit that even though I am speaking to people constantly about resiliency and change, I had a moment myself. The email into my Inbox with your article link was very timely.
Nick Wright
7/5/2017 10:47:58 am
Hi Tina and thanks for such an honest and personal response. I love your comment, 'I had a moment myself'. It helps keep our insights and ideas around resilience, change etc. earthed in real human experience. It reminded me of that NLP expression, 'The map is not the territory'.
Chris Crosby
7/5/2017 10:50:05 am
Bridges stuff is beautiful and critical. Also, Robert Crosby outlines a step by step group process that allows for participants talking to their bosses an avenue to raise any concerns. A move like this will not only be physical but also there will be differences in how people work together. You can use a group process to accelerate the speed as to which employees learn, communicate, and address those issues. To learn more read Appendix J of "Cultural Change in Organizations." Yes, Robert is my father, but what he brought and continues to bring to OD is a set of interventions, ie. things to do, to manage various situations that are repeatable, easy to learn, adapt to any situation, and when done well achieve rapid business results. Beyond a group process to raise issues, in a change like you mentioned perhaps some sort of ritual like the article suggest could be very useful. If you want a copy of the appendix, send me a message with your email and I will send it to you.
Nick Wright
7/5/2017 10:59:05 am
Thanks Chris. I think conscious awareness, decisions and processes like those that William Bridges and Robert Crosby suggest can be very useful to enable people navigate through practical changes and relational transitions. Rosabeth Moss Kanter does some brilliant work in this area too, e.g. 'Managing the Human Side of Change'. I think research and ideas in the psychological arena of transitional objects can also help by raising awareness of subconscious processes and how people may temporarily attach special meaning and significance, sometimes based on identity/self and survive/thrive strategies developed since birth. You may find this related short piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/exploring-transition
Michael Grigg
7/5/2017 11:00:12 am
I like the piece of wood metaphor.
Nick Wright
7/5/2017 11:00:41 am
Thanks for the encouraging feedback, Michael. :)
Phil Rigotti
7/5/2017 11:02:21 am
Hi Nick, Gestalt has something helpful here I suppose...the idea that the whole (the staff member) is greater than the sum of all of the parts. I would simply want any building manager / change manager / facilities manager to pay attention to the range of factors that help individuals think, concentrate, create, produce, etc. When are people at their best and how can we make provision for that? If I feel a sense of loss I can accommodate that emotionally if the others things that regulate and contain me are there. In some office moves we have un unrealistic expectation that the new arrangement will increase productivity somehow when oftentimes the individuals have had to relinquish the things that supported them to be their best self.
Nick Wright
7/5/2017 11:06:45 am
Hi Phil. I agree. Are you familar with the Gestalt notion of 'field'? You may find this article by Malcolm Parlett interesting? http://www.institutovenezolanodegestalt.com.ve/Gestalteca_Articulos/Reflections%20on%20Field%20Theory%20-%20Parlett,%20Malcolm.pdf
Ashwani Bhargav
8/5/2017 12:39:38 pm
All is relatively & context based...it depends what are your options/choices at a certain stage/circumstances of life...who is dependant on you vis-a-vis whom are you dependant on......bythe way, Hope is a dangerous word👍😋
Nick Wright
8/5/2017 12:40:22 pm
Hi Ashwani. 'Hope is a dangerous word.' Intriguing. Say more?
Jennifer Blackburn
8/5/2017 01:56:29 pm
Never expected to cross an article to move me to tears. Beautifully written.
Nick Wright
8/5/2017 01:57:05 pm
Thanks Jennifer. Your feedback moved me too..!
Sheri Miller
8/5/2017 01:57:43 pm
LOVE this conversation! I find that there is a continuous group of people around me who are in some type of transition, be it a divorce, change of job, mid life crisis, loss of a love one. What we are talking about here is helpful to all. Question. What "stages" do you feel people grow through when they are in transition? I think "mourning" and "fear" are two of the stages. What else?
Nick Wright
8/5/2017 02:05:53 pm
Thanks Sheri! :) I think the 'stages' question depends on, for instance, the degree to which the person (a) initiated, (b) feels in control of and (c) feels positive or optimistic about the change. Are you familiar with Kubler-Ross' work in this area? E.g. http://changingminds.org/disciplines/change_management/kubler_ross/kubler_ross.htm
Bharaniram Bhaskarbhatta
10/5/2017 08:54:46 am
While it is true that individuals going through such transitions need some emotional support , I believe the sooner we help them to get over that need for emotional crutches the better it will be. It helps to carry forward some of the fond memories, but relying too much on those for mental and emotional comfort may sometimes lead to resistance to change.
Nick Wright
10/5/2017 08:59:34 am
Hi Bharaniram. There is a risk that holding onto the past too tightly can make it difficult for a person, team or organisation to move into the future. There is a corresponding risk that, if we try to move people on too quickly, before they are ready, that can provoke regression or resistance. It's about working with people where they are and paying attention - with them - to what they need.
Patrick Kennedy
10/5/2017 09:01:13 am
A simple and perceptive commentary on what makes our workspace "our place".
Nick Wright
10/5/2017 09:01:43 am
Thanks Patrick!
Kevin Okeoghene
10/5/2017 01:15:03 pm
Great stuff from all you. really enjoyed your insights and inputs on this subject. however I would say that the surest way to facilitate transitions in organization or a state besides communicating the change early enough is to give hope to all the people concerned, I mean an assurance of the future. in other words it is to build their sense of hope in the ongoing transition. The major reason people are sad to leave one point or one state to another is because they don't know what the other side of life would offer then i.e. they do not know what the future of this new transition holds for them. it is the fear of the unknown that makes people resist change even when the change is meant to benefit them.
Nick Wright
10/5/2017 01:17:48 pm
Thanks Kevin. I agree - hope is so important. Sometimes it's about enabling people to find hope rather than giving it to them...for example, by supporting them to discover and address what they need. This varies from person to person, culture to culture, situation to situation.
Kevin Okeoghene
11/5/2017 03:05:31 pm
Yea my Brother true talk, but whether giving hope to the people or helping the people to finding hope, it all bores down to one thing and that is, unless the people are truly hopeful that their needs, dreams, desires, aspirations and expectations would be met, and that their future would be secured they would not be enthusiastic about the ongoing change neither would they be self motivated to participate fully in helping the change succeed. I think it is part of the leadership function to identify and satisfy the basic needs of man particularly of the people under their sphere of influence; which should includes longevity/life expectancy, peace, prosperity and pleasure. longevity could also mean long service. a plan that guarantees & assures the staffs of long service within your organization. sometimes all the people need is job security.
Nick Wright
11/5/2017 03:08:17 pm
Hi Kevin. Well said.
Kevin Okeoghene
12/5/2017 08:20:04 am
Thanks Nick and kudos for the great work you are doing.
Nick Wright
12/5/2017 08:21:10 am
You're welcome, Kevin - and thanks for your contributions to the conversation!
Mehul Pandya
10/5/2017 01:18:43 pm
We recently underwent a name change exercise for my organization and I was instrumental in leading the change. We were acquired by another organization few years back but due to "branding" we were maintaining a different name. However, finally we integrated to the parent organization couple of months back. We had very similar situation and people had worked for years with the original organization and they were feeling nostalgic about the name change. We had kept the communication strategy very straight forward and simple. Our leaders announced the change with logic and reasons and we handled Q&A around the change. I guess, most would have accepted the change about this and life moves on. I see resemblance in situation mentioned here where in people feel connected with office location....however life moves on.....we move to different house / locality / country .....mostly for betterment right? Let's welcome the change, be open to it and embrace it.
Nick Wright
10/5/2017 01:24:06 pm
Hi Mehul and thanks for sharing a practical example from experience. Logic and reason will certainly be enough for some people if they find them sufficient and convincing. Other people need to feel a more emotional connection. As John Kotter puts it, effective and sustainable change needs to be 'convincing to the mind and compelling to the heart.' If people's needs are met, they are more likely to 'welcome the change, be open to it and embrace it.'
Cath Norris
10/5/2017 10:03:52 pm
Saw this and thought you might like it :)
Nick Wright
10/5/2017 10:06:16 pm
Thanks Cath. Yes - I like it! :)
Alison France
12/5/2017 08:09:27 am
Great story, well told. Thank you.
Nick Wright
12/5/2017 08:13:39 am
Thanks Alison. Yes, I like William Bridges' work in this area. Have you come across Rosabeth Moss Kanter? She has amazing words of wisdom too. This is my favourite of her articles: http://www.apbs.org/Archives/Conferences/fifthconference/files/UTAH/managing_Change.pdf
Kevin D. Rigotti
14/5/2017 04:44:53 pm
If you fancy a bit of cross-domain reading you might like to look at the ways engineers set out to deliberately design products that help you to be your best self, e.g. this article by Karen Holtzblatt: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Karen_Holtzblatt/publication/220382572_What_makes_things_cool_Intentional_design_for_innovation/links/575d988008aec91374aef603.pdf
Nick Wright
14/5/2017 04:45:43 pm
Thanks Kevin. Looks interesting. Do you have any examples of applying it to enable people through transitions?
Michael Nestor
20/5/2017 12:59:05 pm
Great contributions! As mentioned Bridges work comes to mind in support of this type of situation. I also add the applicability of neuroscience and even evolutionary psychology to support the proposed approaches. But in the end I think the key applications have already been stated! 😊
Nick Wright
20/5/2017 12:59:52 pm
Thanks Michael! Do you have any examples from evolutionary psychology? Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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