NICK WRIGHT
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Unexpected

28/12/2018

38 Comments

 
Picture

I think I saw an angel this week. I was walking into town the day after Christmas when I noticed a young man walking ahead of me, beer can in hand, dressed like a skinhead and looking decidedly rough. He stopped momentarily and stooped to the ground. I imagined he was going to drop his can at the roadside and I thought, cynically and silently, ‘Typical’. Instead, to my complete surprise, he picked up another empty can and continued walking. As we progressed, he picked up can after can, bottle after bottle, all discarded by revellers the night before. I was surprised, puzzled and intrigued.

As we entered the town, I found myself continuing to follow him. He came to a rubbish bin and carefully dropped the cans and bottles inside it. Now I was really amazed. Instinctively, I felt in my pocket and pulled out some coins. Walking across the road, I smiled, held out the cash towards him and said, ‘Here - buy yourself a drink. I was so impressed to see you doing that.’ Now he looked surprised, puzzled and intrigued. ‘You don’t need to do that,’ he said shyly, ‘I’m just trying to look after my neighbourhood.’ I noticed wet blood across his knuckles, as if from a fight. A real paradox.
​
He held out his hand and asked my name. I told him, asked his and he replied. We shook hands and parted ways. I felt nervous about the blood on my hands and, discretely, rushed off to find a place to wash. At the same time, I felt humbled, confused and inspired by this curious character. How quickly and easily I had judged him. How he was the one that had picked up litter, not I. How he did what was needed without seeking recognition or reward. How he modelled good citizenship without saying a word. I think I saw an angel this week. A true spirit of Christmas and a vision for a new year.

38 Comments
Ivan Petarnichki
28/12/2018 01:56:03 pm

I like it, Nick. Good reminder that too quick to judge = assume. And we all know what assume makes of you and me :)

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 01:56:58 pm

Thanks Ivan. Yes, it is good to have our assumptions - and prejudices - challenged from time to time!

Reply
Martella Diederiks
28/12/2018 02:10:04 pm

So easy to see what we want to see and not what we need to see.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 02:10:44 pm

Hi Martella. Yes and, at times, seeing what we expect to see rather than what is actually there.

Reply
Mum
28/12/2018 02:32:43 pm

That’s my boy!xx

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:19:06 pm

:) xxx

Reply
Sam Voorhies
28/12/2018 06:20:04 pm

Nicely said and may it be so for me too.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:20:25 pm

Thanks Sam. And me..!

Reply
Kathrin
28/12/2018 06:20:14 pm

Engel kommen für uns in Menschen an unerwarteten Orten vor, zu unerwarteten Zeiten, in unerwartetem Aussehen. Und sie machen Sachen, die uns positiv überraschen, die wir nicht erwartet haben. Doch für sie sind die Dinge, die sie tun, nicht überraschend. Sondern selbstverständlich! Wir können nur von ihnen lernen. Aber hey, vielleicht sind auch wir schon Engel gewesen und wissen es nur nicht!

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:34:33 pm

Hallo Kathrin. Sie erinnerten mich an Worte in der Bibel: 'Vergessen Sie nicht, Fremden Gastfreundschaft zu zeigen, denn dadurch haben einige Menschen Engeln Gastfreundschaft gezeigt, ohne es zu wissen.'

[Hi Kathrin. You reminded me of words in the Bible: 'Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.']

Reply
Adrian Close
28/12/2018 06:21:11 pm

Nice one, this reminds me of an interview forum I once held. One applicant came in and "Oh dear" I better deal with this one! - He turned out to be one of the best most successful people I had the privalage of managing, that was back in 1993 and we're still in touch. Great post Nick

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:22:07 pm

Thanks Adrian. What an inspiring and heartwarming account!

Reply
Linda Kepschull-Boes
28/12/2018 06:23:30 pm

It is so true how we are conditioned to judge so harshly of others who may nit exactly fit our visual idea of proper humanity, I too have judged and found how wrong I was. Thanks for the reminder.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:23:59 pm

Hi Linda. Thank you for such an honest and personal response.

Reply
Zebedee Franklin
28/12/2018 06:24:36 pm

It is little things in life out of the ordinary and contrary to our own prejudices that can make us think and precipitate change. Living in Canterbury, I see more homelessness everyday and am struck by the courage and humility of many I have met. The same person could easily be me on those streets and huddling in those shop doorways and subways Humbling to get a Happy Christmas and Happy New Year from someone who has nothing.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:27:38 pm

Hi Zebedee. So true. Some of the most striking experiences in my own life have been with the poor in the Philippines. Here's an example of one such woman who has had an incredibly profound impact on my life: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/love

Reply
Pamela Donnelly
28/12/2018 06:28:51 pm

This is a really interesting article nick. It’s challenging to have out stereotypes challenged but also a helpful reminder that they exist. If we could all take this kind of action to better our communities the world would be a better place. Thanks for sharing and all the best for 2019.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 06:30:00 pm

Thanks Pamela. I agree. A very Happy New Year to you too. :)

Reply
Karen JOY Langley
28/12/2018 09:52:00 pm

We have an innate survival mechanism - find quick ways to assess situation ( eat or be eaten survival). But it's good to recognise how often negative 1st impressions can be wrong. I try to stay open (it's my job), but it's not easy. However I'm not tough on myself, I simply allow myself to have another thought about my fellow humans - a more positive one. Hopefully they might be do likewise ... and reassess their 1st impression of me.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 09:54:35 pm

Hi Karen. Yes, I think such encounters can trigger our fight-flight-freeze mechanisms. I like your way of expressing how you respond if you notice that happening: 'I simply allow myself to have another thought about my fellow humans'.

Reply
Michael Barrett
28/12/2018 09:58:58 pm

Its funny, there is more good people than we care to see.

Reply
Nick Wright
28/12/2018 10:00:55 pm

Hi Michael. Especially when the media is so full of negative, fear-inducing stories and stereotypes. We need to choose to see the good and allow people to be who they really are: to be open to new possibilities that may well surprise us.

Reply
Daniela Vellini
29/12/2018 10:37:57 am

Thanks Nick, we're surrounded by amazing people, it's enough to let our heart look around 👍☮️

Reply
Nick Wright
29/12/2018 10:40:36 am

Thanks Daniela. You reminded me of words in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's classic, The Little Prince: 'And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.'

Reply
Daniela Vellini
30/12/2018 09:26:56 am

Nick, that's exactly it!! ❤️

Nick Wright
30/12/2018 09:27:09 am

:)

Priya Ramesh
29/12/2018 11:04:53 am

Lovely blog.

Strange how we miss the ordinary angels everywhere around us and focus on a big act by an oustanding someone.

Power to Ordinary Angels :)

Reply
Nick Wright
29/12/2018 11:07:23 am

Thanks for such an insightful and heart-warming response, Priya. :)

Reply
Mary Fraser
29/12/2018 12:36:41 pm

Not all angels have wings :-) Enjoyed reading your article, Nick.

Reply
Nick Wright
29/12/2018 12:37:13 pm

Thanks for the encouraging feedback, Mary!

Reply
Shelley Anita
30/12/2018 09:28:03 am

Good reminder, great article 🙂

Reply
Nick Wright
30/12/2018 09:28:22 am

Thanks Shelley. :)

Reply
Andy Henry
2/1/2019 04:07:22 pm

Yes, it's dangerous to have a hair-trigger on your negative assumptions, people often end up fulfilling what you think is possible from them - so it's better for everyone if you can make them positive.

Reply
Nick Wright
2/1/2019 04:08:41 pm

Hi Andy. I like your hair-trigger metaphor! :)

Reply
Stephanie Jenkins
2/1/2019 04:09:28 pm

Now I'm curious! Who is he? Why did he have blood on his knuckles? Where did he live?

Reply
Nick Wright
2/1/2019 04:13:34 pm

Hi Stephanie. I'm curious too! No idea. I only know that (from what he said) he is local.

Reply
Nancy Avila
5/2/2019 08:56:14 am

I could not help, but remember this saying - "Do charity silently or else the charity is you".

Reply
Nick Wright
5/2/2019 08:56:54 am

Hi Nancy. I haven't heard that expression before. I'm curious: what does it mean?

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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