What does coaching look like?

13/6/2015

I’ve been intrigued recently by working with skilful, experienced coaches who hold very different ideas about what coaching is and what it entails in practice. The main points of difference tend to lay in what the coach focuses on (or not) and what the coach does (or doesn’t do) with the client.

One coach focuses primarily on the coaching process and does not engage directly with the client's story. Here's a brief illustration:

*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.

*Coach: OK, in relation to that, what do we need to do now to help you think through this?

*Client: Perhaps I could say a bit about where I experience this most and what happens when I do. It’s mostly when I am expected to present to authority figures, e.g. the leadership team at work. It keeps me awake the night before. That means I feel tired and even less able to cope when it comes to the meeting.

*Coach: So, where are we now and what do we need to do next to move this forward?

Another coach focuses on the client’s story and guides the client through it by engaging in it with the client. Here's an illustration:

*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.

*Coach: So, where would you like to get to by the end of this conversation?

*Client: I’d like to come away with some ideas about how to feel less stressed, more confident, when I do presentations.

*Coach: OK. What kind of presentations do you find most stressful? Perhaps you could share an example of when you last felt like that and we can work on it together.

A third coach focuses on what is happening for the client, or between the coach and client, here and now. The client’s story acts as a backdrop:

*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.

*Coach: OK…and what are you feeling here and now as you talk about this?

*Client: I can feel a tension in my stomach. It’s like a dull ache.

*Coach: If the tension, the ache, had a voice - what might it be saying to you? What will you say in return?

A final coach reframes the client's story, encouraging him or her to re-image the issue as a positive scenario:

*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.

*Coach: So let's imagine you arriving at work, feeling very different - confident and relaxed, facing difficult situations directly and not feeling the need to avoid them. What would you be doing?

*Client: Well, I would walk into the room with head up, back straight, and look people in the eye.

*Coach: OK. And what would you be saying to people? How would you be presenting yourself? What would you be feeling as you do it?

What is your coaching approach? What principles guide your work and what does it look like in practice? I will be very interested to hear from you!

33 Comments

Bob Larcher

13/6/2015 07:01:34 am

Very interesting question!

If I use your example:

Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.

I would probably start by asking what “lack of confidence” looks & feels like and what the client means by “affecting my performance and stress levels”

I would probably ask the client to describe a recent situation(s) and what happened.

I would probably also ask the client to describe situations where confidence and associated performance is ok.

My approach, I think, would be to help the client identify the “triggers” to lack of confidence – “with people I don’t know”, “with people more experienced than me”, “when people become emotional”, “when I am not sure about the subject”, etc.

I would undoubtedly help the client to identify some ways of “overcoming” the lack of confidence when it arises and I would almost certainly “act” someone if it is a “type” of person that the client has a problem with.

I write ‘probably’ often because I am fairly intuitive and I wouldn’t necessarily react the same way with two different people having a similar problem.

Nick Wright

13/6/2015 07:45:47 am

Many thanks, Bob. I found the outline of your approach really interesting, helpful and inspiring. Lots of insights into and ways of working with the same issue with the client!

I, like you, work fairly intuitively so what I might do depends quite a lot on the client, my relationship with the client and what insights or ideas emerge for me in the moment with that client.

I also sometimes draw on Gestalt practices of physically enacting experiences and scenarios with a client to see what happens when we do it, rather than talk about it.

With thanks again and best wishes. Nick

Ian Henderson

13/6/2015 07:30:39 am

Brilliant article Nick - really interesting look at the different styles of coaching.

13/6/2015 07:31:56 am

Thanks Ian! :) I've seen your amazing training. What does your coaching look like? All the best. Nick

Terrence H Seamon

13/6/2015 07:31:19 am

I agree with Ian. Fascinating to see coaching from several different perspectives...all of them good.

13/6/2015 07:32:28 am

Thanks Terrence. How might you respond to the issue posed by the client in the blog? I'd love to hear more. With best wishes. Nick

13/6/2015 08:34:28 am

As I said, all of these approaches are good. Meaning that a coach needs to be versatile, able to shift approaches depending on the client and the conditions surrounding the encounter. Client-centered coaching would be my answer.

Lisa DeGunya RN

13/6/2015 08:35:41 am

God guides us when we pray for His perfect truth.

13/6/2015 08:38:06 am

Hi Lisa. Yes, prayer plays an important part in my coaching practice too. You may find this short blog interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/listening-for-a-voice. Let me know if it resonates with your experience too? With best wishes. Nick

13/6/2015 09:08:17 am

Yes~ Thank you Nick. Absolutely all principles apply in leading and coaching others - it is an art and science and balance of it all. To be connected to God through it all is key for His outcome to be the result. Thank you for sharing.

Eddie Lau

13/6/2015 06:50:38 pm

Hi Nick,
Thanks for sharing your insights into the style of coaching!
Well, I am a people's person, so to use your example, I would work with the client to understand his/her story, peeling the onion layer by layer to get to the bottom of the 'fear'. Then use examples or client's past experience to overcome this fear and get back on feet.
I believe every motives must have a reason behind them, so knowing the reason Why and then work out a strategy to tackle them. Of course, it would depends on the situations/client, all your three approaches are extremely useful.
All the best !

15/6/2015 10:52:33 am

Hi Eddie and thanks for your encouraging feedback. It sounds like you may help the client to overcome present fears by helping him or her to identify previous occasions where they have experienced and overcome fear - and to build on that experience to move forward.

If I have understood that correctly, it reminds me of elements of an appreciative or solutions-focused approach. Interestingly, some practitioners who use e.g. solutions-focused or transactional analysis question whether understanding the 'why' is necessary.

Have you seen Carole Pemberton's Coaching to Solutions (2006)? I find her approach interesting and useful, especially when coaching in a managerial context or where there are tight time constraints. With thanks again and best wishes to you too! Nick

Cheryl Roshak link

13/6/2015 09:21:31 pm

Very interesting post, Nick, I had to stop to think about what kind of coach am I and to read about other styles of coaching or approaches.

I don't think I have a rigid style as I think each client brings out in me what needs to be so I respond to each client a bit differently. On the whole though, I do deep inner core coaching with most of my clients for if you don't know who you are and what you stand for, or what is meaningful or purposeful for you, how can you make good decisions or really know what you true goals are? Not everyone needs this level of coaching but I attract clients that do need this. I'm a rather empathic and intuitive person and tend to follow my gut or instincts. I have learned to trust them.But I'm also direct and honest, and call a spade a spade. I will take you very seriously and get you close to the dream or goal or whatever it is you came to see me for. I'm a changemaker.

15/6/2015 10:44:21 am

Hi Cheryl. Thanks for such a helpul response. I can very much identify with your intuitive approach, responding to what each client brings out in you. I've noticed that some coaches subscribe to a particular approach (e.g. cognitive-behavioural or solutions-focused) whereas others are more fluid and eclectic.

Your approach sounds quite existential (or spiritual), touching on deep questions at the heart of a person's being and stance in the world. I liked your observation that you attrace clients that need to do this. I'm always curious about what people, including clients and coaches, evoke and notice in each other and their relationship(s).

If you have found any existential coaching-oriented resources helpful, I'd be interested to hear about them. I like Emmy van Duerzen's Existential Perspectives on Coaching (2012). With best wishes and thanks again. Nick

James Henman PhD

14/6/2015 07:27:30 am

Nick,
What a great question for discussion. As a psychologist in private practice with a focus on therapeutic Coaching, I focus on what's coming up in the present moment, both feelings and noticing underlying presuppositions that reflect elements of "Survival Software" in what is being shared in the session. An example of applying Cognitive/Perceptual Reconstruction working with addiction to Internet Pornography shows the general style/focus of the coaching session:
http://www.cairforyou.com/coaching/coachingPornography.htm

15/6/2015 10:30:57 am

Hi James. Thanks for your encouraging feedback and for sharing such a helpful example from your own therapeutic coaching practice. It made me wonder if, and if so where, you may draw boundaries between therapy and coaching? Would love to hear your thoughts on that.

I found your 'survival software' metaphor very interesting. I remember once working with someone who I found very controlling. I mentioned this to a coaching colleague who responded: 'I wonder what situations she has experienced in the past where she felt she had to have everything under control in order to 'survive'.'

Intriguing. Let me know if you have further thoughts on this? It would be good to hear from you. With best wishes. Nick

James Henman

16/6/2015 02:28:11 am

My focus is on what will help the client reach their goals, whether drawing from the multitude of psychotherapy resources that I have integrated over the years, or drawing from the multitude of coaching styles/approaches that I have been integrating over the years.

Theoretical Roots:
Cognitive/Perceptual Reconstruction (therapeutic Coaching) has its theoretical roots in Cognitive Behavior Modification, Client-Centered Therapy, Family Systems Theory, Analytic Psychotherapy, the hypnotic patterns of Milton H. Erickson, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the Twelve Step Anonymous Programs, and the model of change presented in the Christian Gospel. It has a lot in common with current approaches such as Mindfulness Training, Positive Psychology, EMDR, ACT, and Cognitive Bias Modification. CPR combines and integrates these varied approaches into a unifying philosophy and style of change. This integrative style draws deeply from coaching, and I describe myself as a therapeutic Coach with my clients.

Angela Sabin FCMI FCIPD FlnstLM

14/6/2015 07:29:07 am

Great post, thank you.

14/6/2015 07:31:07 am

Thanks Angela! Which approach, if any, resonated most with the coaching approach you may tend to use? With best wishes. Nick

14/6/2015 09:15:58 am

You are welcome. I couldn't pick just one; so much depends on my sense of what's happening in that moment and especially noticing patterns from what the client has brought to or enacted in previous sessions - that's not always conveyed in a transcript, is it?

Penny Barratt

15/6/2015 03:04:02 am

Interesting approaches demonstrated and glad that it wasn't about differentiating between coaching and mentoring which seems to be the biggest topic of debate in this field.

I would help the client discover the reasons behind their anxiety, help them talk through how they could handle the anxiety through techniques mental and physical then work towards actions to stop the anxiety emerging in whatever way possible but depending on what triggered these behaviours in the first place. Something around the skilled helper approach of coaching. Maybe because I do a lot of mentoring this type of coaching feels more comfortable to me. The first style in your blog is very laid back and disassociated which makes me think of the psychiatrist couch (not that I've ever seen or experienced one), which indeed may suit some clients, but my experience of a problem like you describe is that clients want some quick wins and long term permanent solutions. Thinking it through for themselves the why and what they might do differently the how, helps clients achieve better outcomes and own the solution.

15/6/2015 03:23:41 am

Hi Penny and thanks for your interesting comments. Yes, I too encounter quite a few people who are confused or disagree over the focus, boundaries and practice of coaching and mentoring.

Your mention of the skilled helper reminded me of Gerard Egan's simple approach (exploration - understanding - action) which I found immensely helpful during my supervision training.

The first approach I described is often, in fact, experienced by clients as fast, focused and impactful. Perhaps it's because the skilful coach doesn't become embroiled with the client in the client's material and, thereby, brings fresh clarity.

One person I know who is an expert in this approach describes the question behind it as something like: 'What do I (as coach) need to do to help you (as client) think through what you need to think through in order to do what you (as client) need to do'.

That sounds quite similar to your comment, 'thinking it through for themselves'. If interested to explore it further, have a glance at 3D Coaching's website: http://www.3dcoaching.com/

With best wishes and thanks again. Nick

Alison Norris

19/6/2015 03:23:54 am

HI Nick and Penny, with reference to discussion of the boundaries between coaching and mentoring you made reference to in your posts, do you know of any sites / papers that might be helpful in understanding the arguments? It relates to a piece of work I am researching at the moment and your help would be much appreciated if at all possible. With many thanks.

19/6/2015 03:25:11 am

Hi Alison. I would suggest contacting the European Mentoring & Coaching Council (http://www.emccouncil.org/) to see what they could recommend. Hope that's helpful. All the best. Nick

24/6/2015 10:20:15 am

Alison, it's not so much boundaries but approaches to demonstrate the differences. The overlap of both emerged first out of America and has become over time more common here. There are books available on specific speciality (coaching/mentoring) and I have put together training in both in supporting mentoring and coaching programmes. Techniques can be similar but coaching is very hands off guiding individuals towards personal understanding and self development while mentoring suggests a more empathetic nurturing approach as you 'share' knowledge and skill and guide the individual towards what action they should be taking. To find materials to support this though I think you will have to use google and see what you can find, I'm struggling here to direct you towards something specific. However if you find it and it's useful, then please share.

24/6/2015 10:20:51 am

Many thanks, Nick. :)

Doaa K

15/6/2015 10:11:57 am

Beautiful post Nick! My coaching style is digging for the root cause, and then working to change the perception of my client towards what triggers negative feelings or thoughts - by putting everything on the table - almost dissecting it, detaching from it, playing around with it imagining yourself in different situations, acting them out, me joining in the act and maybe having a good hard laugh together that releases the tension from my client. Then we start on an action plan.

The length this process may take varies according to how deep my client's bruise is, how long it has been building, how far they are vulnerable and the time they need before they can really be ready to "LAUGH HARD" at their fears... it's amazing... isn't it? :)

(BTW: i love the colors and design of your website!)

15/6/2015 10:24:51 am

Hi Doaa. Thanks for such kind feedback on the blog and the website(!) and for sharing such interesting and stimulating ideas from your own coaching practice. What you described sounds like a playful, experimental version of cognitive behavioural therapy.

I wondered if you might find this short case study article interesting as it connects with what you do in terms of 'doing with' rather than 'doing to' the client. Loved the idea of finding moments of laughter in your work too. With best wishes. Nick

Brian O'Neill link

16/6/2015 06:58:22 am

Terrific post, Nick. Great stimulus to further thought and discussion. Thank you.

17/6/2015 11:53:02 am

Thanks for such very encouraging feedback, Brian! I'd love to hear any insights from your own experiences and reflections on this topic. With best wishes. Nick

John Maynard

17/6/2015 11:43:48 am

Thank you for an interesting read. There is a theme that everyone has a story and it is important to listen to it. Sometimes it is real and sometimes it is a cover for something else. My own personal thoughts are that when people challenge themselves as to the real issue and why its an issue and know what the first step in meeting their real goal looks like the rest is relatively clear cut. Thanks again.

17/6/2015 11:51:07 am

Hi John and thanks for the note. Yes, I agree that everyone has their own story - sometimes their own way of construing an experience - and that helping them find ways to identify core issues and goals and ways to address them can be very important.

One of the interesting things I've been thinking about recently, and which this blog points towards, is how far it is necessary or useful for the coach to engage with the client's story in order to for the client to make progress.

The key issue seems to be about how the coach engages with the client in order to enable the client to make progress. Some coaches engage with the client's story to achieve this, other's don't engage with the story - and I've seen both make great progress. I find it fascinating! With best wishes. Nick

Funmi Johnson link

2/7/2015 04:57:26 am

Hi Nick,
Thank you for this really insightful article. It was fascinating to see the different approaches. My style is definitely to engage with the story as a starting point and move forward from there. So a blend of the second and fourth approaches.