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‘Work-life balance’. What's that all about? Picture this: I have my work perched at one end of the see-saw that somehow represents my life and my…erm…my life perched precariously at the other. On the face of it, it signifies that my work is completely and utterly devoid of anything that comes close to life and, similarly, that my life is hermetically sealed off from work. I guess I could re-draw the image so that there’s a blurry, permeable bit between the two ends but, even so, it still depicts my work and my life as a polarity, distinctly different and at opposite ends of a spectrum.
OK, I’m being a bit playful here. I get the idea – to help ensure that we pay attention to different aspects of our lives, in particular to avoid work taking over our whole lives. There are echoes of biblical principles of Sabbath in this, safeguarding a space for spiritual, psychological, physical and social refreshment, enrichment and restoration. It poses important questions in modern day, post-modern life, especially against a backdrop of increasing mental and physical health costs of a non-stop lifestyle, e.g. how to do ‘Sabbath’ meaningfully in the midst of 24hr connectivity? Post script: Now here’s a weird thing. When I typed ‘work-life’ into my phone, it auto-corrected to ‘worm-like’. I know what you’re thinking: I really need to get out more – and you may well be right. But what occurs to me is that a worm lives most of its life inside a tunnel in total, relentless darkness. By contrast, there’s something for us here about how to discover and create light, freedom, meaning and purpose in whoever we are, in whatever we are doing. The question then is how to be alive in its widest, deepest, most holistic sense in all aspects of our lives - including in our work. How do we do it?
180 Comments
Denise Harris
16/6/2016 08:05:00 pm
Hi Nick, it is also important to recognise that 'work' isn't limited to the things we get paid for. For many people, 'work' doesn't stop when they get home as there are usually an array of tasks and responsibilities awaiting our attention once we get in the door. I agree that the 24/7 availability of connectivity is seductive and we have to intentionally take time out. A different way of looking at it is to refer to 'occupational balance'. Check out Teena Clouston's writing on this. Denise
Nick Wright
16/6/2016 08:08:35 pm
Hi Denise and thanks for the note. Yes, there's something about the language of 'work-life balance' that reveals a certain cultural way of construing the world and behaving within it. 'Occupational balance' is an interesting alternative. I'm wondering as I write whether the word 'balance' still implies balancing separate things - a balancing act so to speak - which may be different to a more integrative way of thinking about it. What do you think? Is there anything specific by Teena Clouston that you'd recommend? Thanks! All the best. Nick
Bob Larcher
16/6/2016 08:09:42 pm
I have to admit that I have a problem with the term "work-life" balance; it's as though work is not part of life. I thnk simply "life" balance is probably sufficient.
Nick Wright
16/6/2016 08:11:30 pm
Thanks for the note, Bob. Another alternative would be to dispense with 'balance' too and just have 'life'..? ;) All the best. Nick
Bob Larcher
17/6/2016 10:54:51 am
Maybe "integration" is the word we are looking for.
Nick Wright
17/6/2016 10:58:08 am
You've got me thinking, Bob. Integration suggests different parts to me that, somehow, inter-mesh into a coherent whole. The thing I'm pondering now is how it would be instead to think about different experiences and expressions of a whole in different moments. Hmmm. All the best. Nick
Bob Larcher
18/6/2016 12:43:38 pm
The word ‘incarnation” comes to mind. It’s something I get participants to work on during my leadership seminars; how does one “incarnate” one’s different leadership dimensions – emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual. Incarnation is maybe a result of “integrating” or “unifying” different experiences or expressions – maybe!
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 12:45:28 pm
Hi Bob. I like 'incarnation'! There's something holistic and mysterious about it - so much more than anything that could be squeezed into a competency framework. It resonates well with my Christian beliefs too. :) All the best. Nick
Annie Lee
17/6/2016 04:25:16 pm
Nick this is a great reminder to not just accept language and terms commonly used when actually the meaning is either outdated, unrealistic or unhelpful. I have just been to a networking meeting where people shared their business and personal goals - I must admit I didn't distinguish mine but that wasn't a conscious decision. Very interesting topic for discussion - thanks for making me engage the grey matter!
Nick Wright
17/6/2016 04:27:56 pm
Many thanks, Annie. I appreciate your encouraging feedback. I was actually in 2 minds about posting this blog piece so you've affirmed my decision to give it a go. I agree with your comment about language and terms. I believe that language reflects meaning but also creates and reinforces it and behaviours that flow from it. Change the language and it opens up fresh possibilities for how we want to be and do in the world. All the best. Nick
Annie Lee
17/6/2016 08:58:30 pm
I'm absolutely with you on the language reinforcing behaviours and also beliefs. This is a great example... Looking with fresh eyes, what this phrase can be interpreted as is work = necessary evil and life = happiness.... Neither of which is necessarily true for all or even healthy to visualise as balance between them being a goal! As you say, why are they separate anyway?! You've opened a whole can of worms for me here and I love it!
Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns
18/6/2016 02:38:28 pm
That's a big juicy question Nick! For me it's about being present in myself and following my deepest instincts...even when they challenge so called rational decision making. Living that way has brought me immense fulfilment through my 'work' - which I actually relate to as my purpose in being. I've been deeply absorbed by my desire to develop and meet my life's purpose and only felt out of balance when I was prioritising the very rational need to earn a living over my deepest sense of purpose and connection to life.
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 02:40:57 pm
Thanks Cath. You always manage to express these things so well and so profoundly! All the best. Nick
Vikas Chhibber
18/6/2016 02:42:21 pm
Hi Nick,
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 02:43:03 pm
Thanks Vikas. How do you do it..? All the best. Nick
Cheryl Ginnings
18/6/2016 02:44:27 pm
To find true balance, you must live be your values. Well-rounded in spiritual values that keep you in tune with God and understanding the spiritual life allows us to keep in perspective other values. Families will be neglected when we do not live our spiritual values. We become physically tired from over working and God planned us rest periods to renew our minds and hearts. It is very important to be present in all areas. The biggest regret on death beds is the relationships with family, God, and those we love by not spending enough time with them. Regrets are not about business or earning more. Our families are made by choice but seem to be neglected when we are out of balance. Learning to have boundaries will help keep balance between family and work.
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 02:48:17 pm
Hi Cheryl. I like the way you expressed that. It's as if our spirituality and values can provide the grounding in relationship, meaning and purpose from which all else flows. I guess the challenge can be when we feel torn between conflicting choices, pressures or expectations. In those situations, it seems even more important to me to create enough space to step back, reflect, pray and...above all, remain true to love and hope. All the best. Nick
Cheryl Ginnings
18/6/2016 03:38:50 pm
Thanks , Nick. Yes, if our relationship with God is right, everything else will be better. It helps in all other relationships. We are imitating Jesus in Luke 2:52 Jesus grew In wisdom, stature and in favor with God and man.
E.G.Sebastian (CPC)
18/6/2016 08:42:09 pm
Talking about Jesus... He was the greatest Marketer of all... He started out wondering the land, "building his small list of followers" - 12, to be more exact... and look at where it grew. Billions are his followers today - the 2nd largest religion in the world.
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 08:46:23 pm
Interesting comments, E.G. Numerically-speaking, Christianity is, apparently, the largest religion in the world. One of the striking things about Jesus in the work-life arena is how often he took time out of the hustle-and-bustle to pray. This meant that every aspect of what he did was guided by God, rather than simply being in response to the demands of the moment. I need to make that more of a characteristic of my own life. Look forward to seeing your post on this! :) All the best. Nick
Melanie Meade
18/6/2016 03:41:19 pm
Nick, this is an excellent question. When we are fortunate to be working in our dream job, we tend to focus a lot of energy there. It's our passion, it's what drives us and keeps us awake. We need time to care for ourselves, but if we are doing what we are so passionate about and we are truly happy, are we putting work-life balance out of alignment? Sometimes, practicing what we advise clients to do is the balance we believe we may have lost.
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 03:49:21 pm
Hi Melanie. I think you raise such an interesting point here. If our work is our vocation, it makes little sense to try to separate out 'life' and 'work' as if they are two distinctly separate parts of our life and experience. In other words, it calls the 'work-life' dichotomy itself into question. In that case, I wonder what other questions we would do well to consider. Perhaps it's something like, if our vocation is the focus our our time, attention and energy, who or what are we not noticing, including aspects of ourselves, that we may do well to reconsider from time to time. What do you think? All the best. Nick
Melanie Meade
18/6/2016 04:39:08 pm
Nick, I like that revised definition. If we feel happy and we do not see any negative impacts when we are living our passion, then are we missing something? I think the trouble begins when we start to use work or other activities to forget something unpleasant or as a coping mechanism. Avoidance is never good. Meditation and reflection are always good practices to ensure we are in balance. :D
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 04:41:55 pm
Hi Melanie. I think that's another great point. When considering life things, it's always worth reflecting from time to time on what our activity is enabling us to move towards and/or, more often subconsciously, away from. All the best. Nick
Melanie Meade
18/6/2016 05:05:02 pm
Nick, thank you. I have been passionate about pursuing psychology education for a number of years now and I'm excited to be moving soon to a new area, beginning with a fresh start and working towards my dreams and my goals. I am also planning on eventually creating a holistic psychology coaching program and gaining additional certifications and I'm so excited about the future. My current position began draining my energy, but I'm now moving away from that position and that environment and I hope to help others recognize when a job is just a job and how to pursue their own dreams and passions. Best wishes to you as well :D
Nick Wright
18/6/2016 05:07:56 pm
Hi Melanie. It sounds like you have exciting and life-giving plans ahead! I studied psychological coaching at postgrad level a few years ago and that's my field of practice now so it sounds like we have some interests and passions in common. :) All the very best to you. Nick
Melanie Meade
18/6/2016 06:21:16 pm
Nick, I watched my mother decline with dementia as I cared for her to the end. One doctor actually said to me "Quit using your education to try and fix her because you can't. You poison her brain to control her behavior or you put her in a home if you can't handle the care." I was so angry, but it fueled my desire even more to make her last months as best as I could. I began researching holistic options for her nutrition, and while it was too late for her, it's not too late for me or for others. At that point I decided to continue researching foods and spices and practices to facilitate better aging. My masters degree only provides an opportunity for me to teach, but my doctorate training will allow me to develop class outlines and I can teach introductory or health psychology, so combined with my previous experience as a fitness instructor, my strong interests in aromatherapy and holistic living, I'm going to use that education to make the lives of others better in any way I can.
Mark LeBusque
19/6/2016 10:32:39 am
View it as Life Design rather than Life Balance and it's more achievable.
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 10:33:54 am
That sounds like an interesting idea, Mark. Can you say more about what it could mean and look like in practice..? Thanks! All the best. Nick
Mark LeBusque
19/6/2016 04:03:11 pm
From experience with my own team I was quick to point out that work is part of your life so the notion of work-life balance is flawed. Design also gives a sense of permission to design something that incorporates design principles i.e. designers are willing to take constructive feedback (they have thick skin), they design with the future in mind and not just now and they think of others when designing. These principles helped my team members to think differently about "its being done to me" versus "im taking some control" I also had them do a 2 week audit by the minute on their life across 4 areas - self, work, family and friends and community to see if they had their design right. none did so they then set a goal for each non work related area and I built them into their performance plan and allocated a portion of their bonus (sales people) against each. they were happier, felt they worked less, were highly engaged and we hit target 2 years in a row by 237% and 198% (Year 2 tripled).
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 04:06:11 pm
Hi Mark and thanks for providing such a great practical example. I agree with you wholeheartedly that reframing from 'it's being done to me' to 'I'm taking some control' can have a parked positive impact on what we do, what we are willing to take responsibility for and our sense of a healthier life/work/life balance. You may be interested in this related short piece? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/choose All the best. Nick
E.G.Sebastian (CPC)
19/6/2016 08:41:55 pm
Hmm.... "Life Design" can get out of hand really easily, as most of us entrepreneurs would "design" it with about 39-hours per day of business activities. For me it's crucial to be reminded of "Work-Life Balance," otherwise I do tend to work 33-hour days :)
Jeremy Marchant
19/6/2016 10:40:09 am
Work-life balance is an absurd concept.
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 10:42:39 am
Hi Jeremy. I agree that, when taken literally, the phrase 'work-life' doesn't make a lot of sense! I'm interested: can you say a bit more about what the 'disadvantage' is and what, in your experience, works well as an alternative? All the best. Nick
Gauhar Husain
19/6/2016 10:44:02 am
Hi! Nick, It is a nice topic you have chosen. I say this, because of my healthcare industry background.
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 10:52:00 am
Hi Gauhar and thank you for posting so many interesting and important points. I can identify to some degree with the people who work for money. When I left school, I took a job (that I hated) so that I could earn enough to buy a motorbike that I wanted. Some years later, I became a Christian and started to ask some serious questions about my life's meaning and purpose. As a result, I left the job and my studies and took a job in community development that only paid pocket money. My family and friends thought I had gone crazy but it was one of the best decisions in my life!
Atis Sjarifah Ridla
19/6/2016 04:13:40 pm
Thank you Nick for the enlightenment.
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 04:14:27 pm
Thank you, Atis - and welcome to the conversation. :) Your father sounds like a very wise man! All the best. Nick
Allen Hamilton
19/6/2016 04:16:15 pm
Balance in life is so important. Family, Christian, Business and my mental ability to bring all life into perspective. My ability to value how I interact with my life in total is really who I am. My Lord is the pilot of my life and I am his navigator or I follow his instruction as I need to be as close to who Jesus was when he was here on earth. As a human I try to be my best for Him. How I divide my time is so important for me to accomplish my level of success in all areas of my life. I love people and how I interact with each person in my life is leaving a good feeling in each persons memory of any relationship encountered together.
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 04:18:42 pm
Hi Allen and thanks for sharing such personal reflections. Yes, walking with Jesus and being guided by him helps us to approach life, people, relationships, 'work' etc. with a good attitude and to keep things in balance. Thank you for the warm welcoming smile! All the best. Nick
Libor Friedel
19/6/2016 04:26:15 pm
Hi Nick. I suggest to thing only about LIFE. For me "work-life" seems to be artificial concept "forced" by society, corporates etc. From very personal point of view, work isn´t "not live", it is a part of life. If we need to think about balance, do it not within work/life paradigm, but within the life paradigm and activities (dedicated time) which are significant for a happy life (work-family-hobbies-sleep-eat-friends...). Than they are "easily" understandable and managable by priorities, value system etc. (This is my opinion as an amateur in "formal" psychology).
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 04:27:57 pm
Thanks Libor. I think you expressed that really well. I wonder how far 'work-life' as a construct is a product of a secular-modern paradigm in which different aspects of our lives are viewed and lived as compartmentalised. What do you think..? All the best. Nick
Libor Friedel
20/6/2016 04:26:05 pm
As my favorite model of Dilts´ neurological levels suggests - we are dealing with so many ROLES (and responsibilities), that we forgot our INTEGRITY. Therefore we try to find something to help us... and we named it "work-life balance". Usualy we do not think about "eat-life balance", "sleep-life balance", "family-life balance" etc. 😊 Austrian group Opus was (in 1984) very popular with the song "Life is Life".
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 04:29:12 pm
Hi Libor - what profound insights!! I love it. :) Thanks you again. I think you really are touching on the core of this issue here, including at its deepest cultural levels. All the best. Nick
Carina Veracierto, MA
19/6/2016 07:48:35 pm
I personally like Seligman's PERMA model: positive emotions, engagement, positive relationships, meaning (serving a cause bigger than oneself) and accomplishment/achievement to better oneself.
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 07:50:21 pm
Hi Carina. That sounds like a good model to me. Under 'meaning', I would add things like beliefs, values, spirituality, purpose etc. too - all of which influence how I live my life, who and what I choose to prioritise etc. All the best. Nick
Carina Veracierto, MA
20/6/2016 04:33:38 pm
Yes Nick...Living Purposefully
Beverley John-Gomes
19/6/2016 07:51:36 pm
Please watch off balance on purpose. It's a whole new perspective
Nick Wright
19/6/2016 07:58:32 pm
Thanks Beverley. I love the title: 'Off Balance on Purpose'. :) I just watched the Ted Talk: http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Off-Balance-On-Purpose-The-Futu;search%3Aoff%20balance An interesting and refreshing perspective! All the best. Nick
Bill Slater
20/6/2016 04:43:17 pm
My attitude was that I was primarily a "tentmaker," that the day job God provided for me allowed me to conduct various ministries (including 21 years as a teaching leader in Bible Study Fellowship) at no charge. As a praise, I also need to note that I began working for wages at age 13 and have been continually employed (except for a couple of weeks' transition from military to civilian life) for 64 years. Still making tents, thanks be to God.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 04:46:48 pm
Thanks Bill. Yes, 'tentmaking' is an interesting idea - doing one thing because of the opportunity it creates to do another. I'm wondering...does that make the tentmaking itself separate from ministry or integral to it? All the best. Nick
Ayana Azim
20/6/2016 04:47:57 pm
When it comes to 'life balance,' it's important to recognize that balance is not a static state. Communication with all the people in our lives, and ourselves, about where they fit in this week/month/semester's balancing act is required. Be honest with yourself first. You only have 100%. Divvy wisely.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 04:50:01 pm
Hi Ayana and thanks for the note. Yes, balance is not a static state. I'm not sure it's always a desirable state either. 'You only have 100%. Divvy wisely.' - Good advice! :) All the best. Nick
Pamina Mullins
20/6/2016 05:20:32 pm
Nick I think the key is in the word balance and I think the main reason we struggle with this is that we believe there are two opposing forces pulling us in different directions. Work life all too often encourages us to focus outward i.e. doing.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 05:22:54 pm
Hi Pamina and thanks for the note. Yes, it certainly can feel like work and life are two forces pulling us in different directions at times. Can you say a bit more about what you mean by, 'The thing is that most of us don't realize that the state we're predominantly in automatically balances these two apparently opposing forces.'? Do you have an example that could illustrate it? Thanks! All the best. Nick
Pamina Mullins
21/6/2016 08:07:57 pm
Okay Nick I'll try to explain - when we're in a self-aware state i.e. feeling safe, confident, clear and energized in ourselves i.e. in control of the daily quality of our lives, then the struggle to integrate these 2 apparently opposing forces ceases to be a struggle and becomes easier and more natural, because we are consciously designing our daily lives according to our unique core values.
Brian Casem
20/6/2016 05:25:05 pm
Self care is important to survival. We work to survive. If work is causing the bigger whole of the entirety of my life, I find or make a space of time to rest. A past time persuit then becomes an essential adjunct to "work"...survival.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 05:28:22 pm
Hi Brian and thanks for the note. I guess that, for many people in the world, 'survival' is an important motivation for work and, in order to survive in work, we must create and safeguard spaces for rest. My sense it that, the more our work feels like 'vocation', the more permeable the psychological and emotional boundary is between 'life' and 'work'. Would you agree? All the best. Nick
Doug Thorpe
20/6/2016 05:28:54 pm
Work-life balance is not a destination. Yes, taken literally, work is part of life. But what the gurus attempt to explain is that you have a life outside of work. There needs to be some form of balance or equilibrium between the forces or your larger "life" will suffer. Face it, forsake the spouse or kids for work and that spells disaster. I teach a rounded effect with a work-life-faith balance.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 05:33:35 pm
Thanks Doug. I agree that work is a part of life and that, if we are not careful, it tends to be the larger 'life' that will suffer. I like to play with the words, the concept, however, to see what the 'work-life' paradigm reveals in terms of, e.g. cultural construct, and what alternatives may be available to us if we think about it differently. One alternative, for instance, could be Brother Lawrence's 'Practice of the Presence of God'. Are you familiar with it? All the best. Nick
Manuel Mateos
20/6/2016 05:35:00 pm
Work - Life Balance is a permanent goal for some and sadly, an admitted defeat for others. Being great to achieve it for those who enjoy it, it is key to recognize the balance won today will last until new demands on either work or personal life come around and distort it. Work - Life balance can be compared with Success; it is important to pursue it, although recognizing we will need to exert new and bigger efforts for achieving new ones.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 05:38:28 pm
Thanks Manuel. Yes, I think 'balance' is, at best a temporary state. I haven't met anyone yet who has managed to sustain it over a period of time, especially with changes all around them. This may point to the need for grounding or balance internally or spiritually. Did you ever see those old adverts about. 'Weebles (that) wobble but they don't fall down?' It was a toy that had a stable base so that, when it was knocked over, it would self-correct and stand straight again. Perhaps it's something like that..? All the best. Nick
Clive Kaplan CA(SA)
20/6/2016 05:39:17 pm
I think work life balance is in the realm of mastery - takes a lifetimes work.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 05:42:10 pm
Hi Clive and thanks for the note. I'm really curious about the whole notion of 'balance' - what it means and why we consider it to be a desirable state. Martin Luther King said words along the lines of (my paraphrase - apologies to MLK!) that it is the 'maladjusted who change society'. If balance represents, at some level, an adjustment to the status quo, perhaps we need, at times, to shake off our balance to see and pursue alternatives..? Just thinking out loud! All the best. Nick
Susan Bryan, MA
20/6/2016 11:27:16 pm
Thanks for this discussion and thought-provoking question Nick (and for the belly laugh regarding worm-like). The more self-aware we are, the more we balance life naturally. When we have sat in a chair too long, our bodies cry out for movement. When we have had enough ice cream, our bodies tell us that we're full. When we have put in the right amount of effort in our work, our bodies/spirits call for us to relax and rest. But too many of us have lost connection with our inner wisdom - which is why work/life balance has even become a thing. How can we become more aware of the subtle messages we give ourselves throughout the day? AND How can we give ourselves permission to follow the guidance of those messages?
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 11:31:26 pm
Hi Susan. I'm pleased at one person appreciated the 'worm' wisdom! ;) Yes, I'm thinking more and more as this discussion progresses about how balance stems from an inner core rather than just, say, balancing different external priorities. I think you pose an interesting question about how we tune in more. I wonder if it's because we are so busy, so distracted by external stimuli - e.g. 24hr online? Says me...sitting here at my laptop at 11.30pm. ;) All the best. Nick
Pedro Ramírez Romero
20/6/2016 11:42:00 pm
Nick, the real balance between our life and work is crucial to the productivity of the company and the proper performance of each of us.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 11:43:49 pm
Thanks Pedro. Yes, it's in the companies' best interests as well as that of the individuals to pay proper attention to this. Good point! All the best. Nick
Danny Ale
20/6/2016 11:45:02 pm
Just a thought, they are all both the same thing, it is our own perception of things that make us think that there is a side. Eliminate the side and you will eliminate the need for balance for it is all one in the same.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 11:46:07 pm
Hi Danny. Interesting thought. If it is all one and the same what is 'it'? All the best. Nick
Erin (Rybacek) McAuley
20/6/2016 11:46:54 pm
By framing it as "work-life balance", it almost implies work at one end of the scale and all the rest of life at the other. Just calling it "life balance" and letting coachees fill in the various aspects that make up their personal balance I believe honors the whole person and individual. Some folks like the "wheel of balance" as a starting point for reference. Then it is reflecting on the current state and realistic desired state. In some moments the tilt will be more towards family and rightfully so while other times to work or hobbies or health. Balance as you find in yoga or standing on one foot is not a still state, but rather one of constant micro moments. So is that of life.
Nick Wright
20/6/2016 11:49:22 pm
Thanks Erin. I really like the wheel and yoga metaphors and the way you described them. It acknowledges the dynamic sense of 'balance' rather than thinking of it as a static state. Interesting! All the best. Nick
Carly Johnson
21/6/2016 06:35:55 pm
Currently I am struggling with this concept as I started training for a new job as a restaurant manager.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 06:48:18 pm
Hi Carly and thank you for sharing such a personal account and struggle. It sounds like a tough place at the moment. I have no advice but some questions come to mind that may (or may not!) be useful:
Christine R. Andola
21/6/2016 06:49:10 pm
I am a recovering workaholic. One thing I've learned about myself is that it is hard for me to stop working, at least in my mind. So I've developed a better way to incorporate work into the rest of my life by working for myself and from home.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 06:50:43 pm
Hi Christine. Thanks for such an honest response and for sharing ideas that have helped you on the way to recovery! All the best. Nick
Susanne Strong
21/6/2016 06:51:15 pm
There needs to be a habit, hobby or interest that is a must-do at least twice a week. My must-do is rock and roll dancing. I forget the world and lose myself on the exhilaration of dancing. This is extremely therapeutic and essential to keep the fun balanced with work. If you schedule it, you'll do it. Crucial.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 06:53:55 pm
Hi Susanne. Yes, if we commit to a 'non-work' activity that we enjoy and are sufficiently motivated to prioritise (in practice, not just in principle!) over 'work', it can be therapeutic, releasing (especially where physical activity is concerned if we are normally doing 'mind' work) and enhance our wellbeing and effectiveness. Rock & Roll sounds ideal. :) All the best. Nick
Jack Allen, PhD
21/6/2016 07:01:33 pm
Seems more like "balancing" as an ongoing series of actions that affect aspects of one's life. Without balancing, life is at various stages of poverty in one aspect or another. Ancient Hebraic wisdom, I believe.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:03:47 pm
Hi Jack and thanks for the note. I'm wondering about the notion of 'balance' as necessarily being the optimal state. In other words, are there situations in which being 'out of balance' is preferable or advantageous? What do you think? All the best. Nick
Manuel Mateos
21/6/2016 07:04:57 pm
Right Nick, Work-Life balance is affected by ongoing change in everything, including ourselves; new challenges and opportunities keep on coming our way and we never know what surely comes next. I do believe in internal or spiritual balance, as you put it; that's the ultimate goal! However, it is important to avoid confusing Work- Life balance for an 'ideal comfort zone ' and for more time than is necessary for renewing strengths.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:07:10 pm
Hi Manuel and thanks for the note. Can you say a bit more about what you mean when you say, 'for more time than is necessary for renewing strengths'? Thanks! All the best. Nick
Keith Amoss PhD FCIPD
21/6/2016 07:07:42 pm
Thanks for the thought provoking post Nick. I think Erin hits the target. When we compartmentalise our life we are neglecting that eveything is linked. Going through a rough period with the family will have an effect on your work - being miserable at work will affect life at home. So the goal should be to make all aspects of your life as happy and rewarding as possible. Life balance. Full stop.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:11:25 pm
Thanks for your encouraging feedback, Keith. I agree with you about everything being linked. I'm wondering what employment practices do/could/would look like that would support that view? I'm also wondering...lots of wondering here!...whether 'to make all aspects of your life as happy and rewarding as possible' represents a balanced state per se. In other words, what else that is meaningful and important to us, wider relationships, the world etc. may be needed to counter-balance that aspiration? What do you think? All the best. Nick
Christa-Madhu Einsiedler (form. Kiefer)
21/6/2016 07:12:48 pm
Thank you Nick for this thought provoking post! I emerged myself lately into learning about Gen Y and comparing the new generation regarding leadership and attitude with Gen X (my generation) and also Baby Boomers.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:19:56 pm
Hi Christa-Madhu - and thank you! I think you present such an interesting perspective on this topic. It makes me wonder how far the idea of 'work-life balance' is essentially a cultural construct. It presupposes ideas about 'work' and 'life' which, as you say, represent a specific paradigm. I'm also interested in how it relates to cultural expectations in relatively wealthy societies. In poorer countries, for instance, where people work very hard for long hours as the expected cultural 'norm' - not least for survival - I wonder what 'work-life balance' might mean...if anything at all. Lots to think about! All the best. Nick
Elaine Garmon, MS, BCC
21/6/2016 07:21:12 pm
I believe Tony Robbins described it best by calling it work-life integration.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:22:08 pm
Thanks Elaine. I'm wondering what 'integration' might mean, philosophically and practically..? All the best. Nick
Jeremy J. Lewis
21/6/2016 07:23:46 pm
As an OD practitioner my purpose (in life) is to help others (be they individuals, teams or organisations) be the best they can be. I do this through my work. I choose the work I do and whom I work with to meet my needs for financial and psychological security, for the social aspects of working (including recognition) and for self fulfilment , and also to meet the needs of my clients. Is this "Work"? I choose to do things for my family and friends and for myself too. Is this "Life"?
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:27:22 pm
Thanks Jeremy. I like the way you express that. It reminds me of the notion of 'vocation' where to superimpose categories like 'work' vs 'life' feels arbitrary and forced. Perhaps the 'work-life' debate becomes more important where people experience work and life as very different aspects of their experience? All the best. Nick
Matthew Bennett
21/6/2016 07:40:28 pm
It is a very difficult thing to accomplish. Having boundaries - times to switch off the laptop and step away from 'work mode' are really important. Also as a trainer you will have some 'on' days and 'off' days. If you only need to pay the bills from the money earned from 1 weeks' training, 3 weeks of not training can become 3 weeks of anxiety and panic unless you are able to manage your tasks.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:43:07 pm
Thanks for sharing such interesting insights, Matthew. I think your comment about how '3 weeks of not training can become 3 weeks of anxiety and panic' expresses well how the psychological and emotional dimensions of 'work' and 'life experiences cannot be neatly separated off into separate domains of our lives. An impact in one area has an impact in other areas. All the best. Nick
Funmi Johnson
21/6/2016 07:44:48 pm
Love this and so very timely as I am examining the whole concept of 'work-life' balance at the moment for a project.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 07:45:36 pm
Thanks Funmi. I'll direct message you a link to further ideas in this area. All the best. Nick
Sergei Brovkin
21/6/2016 08:08:50 pm
From my personal experience, the issue of work-life balance becomes prominent when you do not like what you are doing. Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life, nor will you ever have questions about work-life balance.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:10:47 pm
Hi Sergei and thanks for the note. I think that's a really interesting perspective. I guess, at times, questions of work-life balance may still emerge if I'm doing a job I love but I spend so much time and energy on it that it impacts on other people around me? All the best. Nick
Corey Poirier
21/6/2016 08:11:56 pm
I agree completely Sergei Brovkin.
Bambi Thompson
21/6/2016 08:12:32 pm
I am all about working energetically in my business and my life. When things get out of balance, I have a conversation with my business, asking it how we can work together joyously and with more ease and freedom. I do the same with my life responsibilities. It's interesting, but it brings a lightness and playful energy into the struggle, it engages an opening for solution, and activates and employs my subconscious mind to support me in finding those solutions that currently are not in my consciousness. Sounds woo woo, but give it a try and see what shows up. Ask and ye shall receive.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:15:12 pm
Thanks Bambi! It sounds like there's something about being aware when things are out of balance, being willing to have the conversations that need to happen and approaching those conversations in a positive spirit. I love the idea of 'lightness and playful energy in the struggle'. :) All the best. Nick
Rhonda Hess
21/6/2016 08:16:06 pm
I try to remember that work-life balance is a moving target. What is balance today may not be tomorrow. So then, mindfulness becomes the key. I check-in with my body at least once a day to see what wisdom it has for me.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:18:52 pm
Hi Rhonda and thanks for the note. Yes, there certainly seems to be a mindfulness theme in this topic! Your reflections made me think about the subjective nature of 'balance'. If 'balance' is related in some what to 'what I need', that will vary from day to day, moment to moment, so being in tune, being in awareness, can make a real difference. All the best. Nick
Eve Siegel, M.S., PCC, CPCC
21/6/2016 08:19:49 pm
Nick-- I really like your question about how we can "be alive in its widest, deepest, most holistic sense in all aspects of our lives - including in our work?"
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:23:02 pm
Hi Eve and thanks for the note. Your book sounds interesting! Yes, there is something about 'balance' that sounds and feels more phenomenological than simply 'practical'. How I experience 'balance' and what state of 'balance' is and feels healthy for me is intrinsically linked to personal and cultural values, expectations etc. All the best. Nick
Chantal Harpin
21/6/2016 08:32:35 pm
I go on YouTube and watch Joel Olstein - drop it. It takes less than 30 minutes and I feel great!! If you care to listen, this is a perfect example of the tools I use in coaching to make you feel empowered.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:33:18 pm
Thanks for the links, Chantal! All the best. Nick
Nial O Reilly
21/6/2016 08:34:26 pm
Work/life balance is an asymptote....a rainbow people chase, its an illusion, a false dichotomy! and a dangerous one....we don't have two lives surely? A work life and another life?? We need to remain whole and strive for balance on a wide variety of domains. In fact our work adds significantly to the meaning of our lives, its not an interruption to it!!
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:36:07 pm
Thanks Nial - and for posting 'asymptote' - that's a new word for me! :) All the best. Nick
Kirsten Nicholl
21/6/2016 08:37:22 pm
I agree with you, Nial. I think that the current focus on work-life balance misses the point entirely. Our work is part of our life as a whole and is not separate from it (sounds obvious really). Key is developing multiple strands to ensure overall wellbeing. I too love and focus on the PERMA model that Carina mentions - both in my own life and to assist my clients. I think where work-life balance has been popularised relatively recently is where people "hate" their work and feel the need to get away from it. However if work is actively contributing to your overall wellbeing then it is nourishing you across several areas of your life. This is really about awareness and fulfilling our needs.
Lauren Keen
21/6/2016 08:38:16 pm
I think of work-life balance like this: sometimes, work invades my days off, sometimes my life gets in the way of work. I like to make sure it's an equal amount of both.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 08:41:47 pm
Thanks Lauren. I like the imagery of 'invade' and 'get in the way'. It sounds like you differentiate between aspects of your life that are 'work' and aspects that are 'not-work'. I guess the question then is what kind of 'balance' works for you so that, perhaps, you feel less invaded less of the time? All the best. Nick
Lauren Keen
22/6/2016 08:45:10 pm
Despite my age, I'm pretty old-fashioned in that sense. I make sure I put in 40-45 hours of work per week. I feel balance because of the flexibility my job allows me to put in those hours.
Sean Yohe
21/6/2016 09:13:33 pm
I think we have some missteps on the road to building that balance - especially in finding work that suits us. Particularly, we have a culture that glorifies certain roles that are only available in small quantities and demeans most of the the rest of our options. (I call it CEO fever. Like Ricky Bobby said: if you ain't first you're last!) We probably close a lot of doors based on what we consider ourselves worthy of. I also think businesses should look for standardized terms to use when describing job postings. If people could understand what companies are hiring for more easily, they might find their dream job at a posting they'd have otherwise left untouched. Clear communication is huge throughout life.
Nick Wright
21/6/2016 09:16:31 pm
Thanks Sean. I think that's a really interesting point. Is your sense that people are choosing or aspiring to roles that don't suit them because the prevailing culture values some roles over others? I think that's an important cultural dimension to this conversation. All the best. Nick
Sanjay Arora
22/6/2016 07:49:41 pm
The career on one hand and health/ family/ spiritual development/meditation/ friends on the other need to be allocated that many number of hours in a week which are mindfully budgeted in advance. Without such a budget, career is likely to eat away other hours and destroy balance.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 07:51:26 pm
Hi Sanjay and thanks for the note. 'Budgeting' time sounds like a very organised way to ensure you pay attention to various dimensions of your life and relationships that are important to you. All the best. Nick
Toni Leahy-Fripp
22/6/2016 07:52:22 pm
I have proved to myself recently that taking time out for me has not meant I get less done in my business, in fact, it's made me way more effective.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 07:54:23 pm
Thanks Toni. My sense is that, when we have had an experience as you have, we be become far more committed to ensuring we take time out. It's the difference between rational assent and emotional engagement. I'd be interested to hear more about 'third spaces'. Sounds intriguing! :) All the best. Nick
Jim Crompton
22/6/2016 07:56:43 pm
I used to think about work/life balance, but now am focussed on work life integration. Firstly, do something you enjoy and incorporate it into your life. If you do too much of anything, it can get stale, so do lots of things. I have been fortunate enough to manage my own career and keep it diverse and I empower all those that work for me to do the same. We complete arduous physical challenges as a team (such as a 100km group run) both in work time and at weekends, everyone is empowered to help provide siolutions to problems and to find problems in the first place. We have evening functions some with family, some without. When I get home, I want to tell my family all about what we have done at work. I complete MOOCs whenever I want to at any time as they help me to develop and all staff are completing some form of professional development course alongside their daily work. While there are stressful moments, there are also easier periods. In this way we surpass all of our goals.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 07:59:45 pm
Hi Jim. Thanks for sharing such a fascinating personal example and approach to addressing work-life integration. It sounds pretty full-on, high-energy. It made me wonder if you ever feel the need to take a break from your work-life integration! ;) All the best. Nick
Robert Klein
22/6/2016 08:00:36 pm
So, on one end of the board you have "Work" and the other you have "Home" then your fulcrum becomes "Leisure". Your home is your house, your sanctuary, your family. Your leisure is time for you and you only, nobody else is needed unless it's some kind of bowling league or disc golf tournament. You should at least spend a few hours a week in your leisure bubble. If your work is taking over then your home and leisure will suffer. Likewise if any of the other demand too much time then your work suffers. It's all a balancing act.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:06:21 pm
Hi Robert and thanks for the note. Work-leisure-home is an interesting paradigm. It sounds very different to Jim's work-life integration paradigm. I wonder if it depends on, say, work being very different in location, relationships and nature to what you do at home or for leisure. Writing this blog is, for me, a blurring of work/leisure/home boundaries. So perhaps it's something about safeguarding some focus areas and boundaries whilst recognising that, sometimes, the boundaries may be permeable rather than fixed? All the best. Nick
Rich Douglas, Ph.D., SPHR
22/6/2016 08:07:27 pm
I reject the notion of "balance." It implies sacrificing one for the other. Instead, I strive for "integration," where both life and work are one. No trade-offs, no compromises, no sacrifices. Work is one aspect of the bigger concept of life.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:09:37 pm
Hi Rich and thank for the note. I'm intrigued...what does that look like in practice? I'm trying to imagine a life that doesn't require some trade-offs, compromises, sacrifices etc. I guess that's because I think of my life as characterised by, say, relationships, interests, choices etc. that sometimes compete for my energy and attention. All the best. Nick
sekararajan balagurunathan
22/6/2016 08:11:34 pm
Keep equal time space for life activities also.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:13:34 pm
Hi Sekararajan. How do you do it? All the best. Nick
Quintin Laubscher
22/6/2016 08:14:24 pm
I'm with Rich Douglas with regards to integration. I used to resent the encroachment of "work" during weekends as I felt there was no real "balance"...but with integration as Jim Crompton also explains, personal and professional development can proceed without compromise. Blessed day for all.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:21:41 pm
Hi Quintin. I'm really interested to hear more about what that transition towards 'integration' looks like in your life. Is it about, say, a shift in mindset (e.g. how you think about your 'work')...or how you choose to spend your time...or both...or something else? All the best. Nick
Quintin Laubscher
23/6/2016 10:09:07 am
Hi Nick. Yes, most definitely a shift in mind set in my case from an ego-centric mindset, where we see ourselves as separate....separate from body, one person from the other. In this practice of separation, the normal/usual mode of operating is to take control, or be controlled. In an living systems view, the mindset is one of interdependence and our mode of operation shifts from the need to take power to partner with life itself, in other words allowing yourself to grow! A growth mindset embraces failure as an opportunity to learn and improve my abilities while being most importantly, something that is sustainable. Shifting to a sustainable lifestyle will require shifts in how we spend our days. Integrating these changes into our lives involves first shifting toward wanting to make each change. Thereafter, set goals that will lead you from where you are now to where you want to be, goals must reflect your experiences, desires, needs, interests, values, and vision of the future.
Diana Dema
22/6/2016 08:32:39 pm
Thank you Nick, for bringing such an important topic under discussion. The parallelism with 'worm like' resonates with my understanding ...and it made me both laughing and saying '''yes...exactly'. Agree with Susan, it is a matter of raising awareness in the family, in the working place and in social friendly environments. It is a matter of rendering a model, which would work at its best if managers/supervisors would set for their direct reports. Talking about it without setting role model wouldn't work effectively. If personally would influence anyone about work life balance ...I would simply use your 'worm life' parallelism and express it simply in your words 'about how to discover and create light, freedom, meaning and purpose in whoever we are, in whatever we are doing' ....no time to be spent in so much theory...it is about modelling and understanding its importance for our lives.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:36:43 pm
Hi Diana and thanks for the reflections. I'm caught up now with the idea of a 'worm-like parallelism paradigm'. ;) Could be a whole new field of research and development there! All the best. Nick
Frankie Doiron, PCC, BCC
22/6/2016 08:46:46 pm
What an interesting observation made with autocorrect! Thanks for sharing!
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:47:37 pm
Thanks Frankie! It made me smile. :) All the best. Nick
Elaine Garmon, MS, BCC
22/6/2016 08:50:52 pm
I agree with Christa-Madhu Einsiedler (form. Kiefer) that it is a shift in perspective and a move to a whole life point of view. I grew up learning that there was work and there was family (or life) and the two do not intersect, or if they do it is only in insignificant ways. Now, I think that society as a whole has changed and become more welcoming of bringing your 'life' into the working paradigm and likewise individuals bring parts of their work into their lives. When you love what you do the lines become more blurred and therein lies the integration. I believe that I have one of the best work/life integration type of gigs around. I'm doing two things that I soulfully enjoy (walking and coaching) and bringing them together. Exercise is also a huge part of my life with my family as is coaching because I bring my coaching perspective (growth mindset) and what I've learned from my clients as well as the energy I've gained from my fulfilling work into my family and my life.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:54:20 pm
Hi Elaine and thanks for the reflections. I think it reinforces for me the idea that, perhaps, where we enjoy our work, we feel less need to draw sharp distinctions or boundaries between that and our wider life, especially if it doesn't feel intrusive. Perhaps there's more of a challenge for people whose work feels less enjoyable or fulfilling or, perhaps, where the demands of work impact negatively on how they experience life outside of work? Does that resonate? All the best. Nick
Debra Brook
22/6/2016 08:55:00 pm
It's a great conversation and quite conceptual - I believe it depends on your individual perspective of balance. 'Balance' conjures up concepts of dichotomies - scales, seesaws and the like. The question is: does life need to be in 'balance', or do we need to integrate the pieces of the various systems we exist in, in order to feel that sense of wellbeing in all aspects of our lives? We exist and adapt in so many complex 'systems' on a daily basis, and I propose that our inherent drive to find balance and happiness can be satiated by exploring what's important to us within these systems, while at the same time considering the broader narrative that we bring to the table that influence our thoughts and actions, then strive for integration - potentially diminishing the sense of overwhelm and exhaustion that often accompanies tearing from one end of the seesaw to the other. Great conversation, Nick - thanks for posting!
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 08:59:16 pm
Thanks Debra! I think I have a similar sense that 'balance' evokes physical (sometimes fairly mechanical) images or ideas that don't fit well with how I actually experience and live my life. I had a similar conversation with someone yesterday where I became aware that language around, say, 'emotion' suggests separate distinct emotional states whereas my actual experience feels far less distinct, far more fluid. It's a similar thing for me vis a vis 'balance'. Does that make any sense? All the best. Nick
Grainne Burke
22/6/2016 09:00:04 pm
Thanks Nick, it's important to give expression to who we are across all aspects of our personal and professional lives which may help us to feel fulfilled as people in work and play and that indeed these two aspects are not at different ends of the scale.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 09:02:02 pm
Hi Grainne and thanks for the note. Yes, the way you describe this sounds more holistic than polarised. I guess the question is how to be and do this in practice when, e.g. we experiencing competing interests of demands? All the best. Nick
Thomas Kraft
22/6/2016 09:03:43 pm
Good work-life balance is like good and healthy climate in the world.
Nick Wright
22/6/2016 09:04:52 pm
Thanks Thomas. I think that's a great analogy! All the best. Nick
Dr Alan Fayter
23/6/2016 09:51:42 am
Hi Nick, thanks for sharing. It's something I come across a lot in my work. Maslow would speak of "transcending dichotomies" - basically stopping either-or thinking. Have a read here if you like? I'd welcome your thoughts.
Nick Wright
23/6/2016 09:56:08 am
Hi Alan and thanks for sharing the link to the article. I found it very interesting, especially the notion of 'work life' as a 'cognitive distortion', a false dichotomy if you like. I think another way to think about this would be: 'work-life' is one way of construing our reality and it leads to its own conclusions. It we were to consider alternative ways of construing reality, it opens up different options for us. In that sense, it's different to considering one view as a 'distortion' (because that implies, by contrast, a more 'true' view) and, instead, recognises all views as constructs that hold their own assumptions and lead to their own conclusions. What do you think? All the best. Nick
Dr Alan Fayter
24/6/2016 09:36:15 am
Hi Nick, the term 'cognitive distortion' is simply a category of linguistics. To judge 'distortion' as less-true is also to use the cognitive distortion of 'judging'. There is value in these language patterns, indeed the ability to mentally distort what currently 'is' is the basis of creativity.
Nick Wright
24/6/2016 09:43:11 am
Hi Alan and thanks for the note. I think we're proposing the same idea, although I still believe 'cognitive distortion' (e.g. in cognitive behavioural therapy) does imply, by definition, a distortion from something else - which is often to do with a more 'realistic' or 'true' sense of what is. If we say 'distortion' doesn't mean 'distorted', we risk losing any meaning in language. Do you agree? I like the idea of viewing distortions as holding potential for creativity - absolutely!! :) Sounds like Maslow's work in this area resonates with Barry Johnson's work on Polarity Management. All the best. Nick
Ian Handcock
23/6/2016 09:56:56 am
Should read life/work balance then we might approach it in a different manner.
Nick Wright
23/6/2016 09:58:38 am
Hi Ian. I agree that playing with language can shift our way of thinking about work/life, life/work etc in a way that opens up new possibilities for us. What do you think might be different if we were to use life-work instead of work-life? All the best. Nick
Shealagh Kate King
23/6/2016 09:59:28 am
It means I put play & self nurture on my calendar before any other activities & encourage clients to consider what play & self nurture means to them. The 7 elements of A Nurtured Life [my coaching/research org] are used to restore this delicate balance, working to strengthen & connect right & left brain for a perfect marriage of the two - anchored with a tailored body dynamic practice.
Nick Wright
23/6/2016 10:01:22 am
Hi Shealagh. Sounds fascinating! Would you be willing to summarise the essence of the 7 elements for us and to say a bit more about what 'anchored with a tailored body dynamic practice' could look like in practice? All the best. Nick
Jane Keep
23/6/2016 10:10:39 am
Hi Nick - I see the whole 24/7 as one - Im the consistent factor, and I feel in my day where the balance with anything is either in or out - it is not just work/life as to me work is life, in fact work is medicine as a daily or regular part of our lives as our body loves working, so it is all of life and how balanced we are. That is supported or not by whether we take care of our selves at work (here is a phd I did on developing self care at work that showed the more we take care of our health and wellbeing the more balanced we feel in all of our life not just work - http://eprints.uwe.ac.uk/21799/) and, Also it is about the relationship we have with work - e.g. if we have fallen out of love with work for whatever reason e.g. bullying boss, feeling over stretched etc we need to readdress that whether it means changing the way we are or making changes or leaving that job we need to look at our relationship with work as that enables us to feel work is part of life, meaningfully so.
Nick Wright
23/6/2016 10:14:57 am
Hi Jane and thanks for sharing the link to your research paper. I think your comments about the psychological aspects is so important. We often think of 'work life' in terms of practicalities, e.g. how much of our time to spend on different activities, relationships etc. It can be useful but can also feel a bit mechanistic. I think the question of how we perceive ourselves, our life, our work, our relationships - including what influences that, e.g. personally, culturally etc - and what significance those things carry for us is an area that is often overlooked. So we can have 2 people apparently working in the same conditions: 1 person is happy, relaxed and loving it; 1 person is unhappy, stressed and hating it. All the best. Nick
Prof Nigel MacLennan
23/6/2016 05:24:28 pm
Over 30 years of coaching on a guaranteed outcomes basis has taught me that work life balance is a myth. Here is why. All the great achievers I have worked with do NOT seek balance, the seek integration. There is NO divide. Work life balance presumes that high achievers are internally different at home and at work. I have found that the less they are, the more they are high achievers. Interestingly, I have, so far, never experienced a high achiever taking a different view. All challenges, I find, come from the mediocre performers.
Nick Wright
23/6/2016 05:26:25 pm
Hi Nigel and thanks for the note. Can you say a bit more about what 'coaching on a guaranteed outcomes basis' means...and what 'integration' means for you in practice? All the best. Nick
Esther Blanche Scheidler
24/6/2016 10:52:55 am
When you have meaning and a sense of authorship all is fine...
Nick Wright
24/6/2016 10:53:32 am
Nicely put, Esther. :) All the best. Nick
Tracey Sloan, MA
25/6/2016 10:16:41 am
I liked the sentiment reinforced when I went through my first formal coaching certificate program back in 2000 (2nd class of Georgetown University program). They said at any given time, we're either moving "toward" or "away" from the balance and energy we seek. I still use that paradigm on occasion to ground myself and level-set. I even plot the question on my calendar on a random calendar day to force the gut check: Am I moving toward or away from balance today? You can imagine which end of the spectrum I usually fall on...:).
Nick Wright
25/6/2016 10:19:07 am
Hi Tracey. :) Thanks for sharing such an interesting model. It resonates well with ideas in motivation theory - are we motivated towards or away from (or, sometimes, both)? Towards or away from is an interesting idea vis a vis balance. All the best. Nick
Magdalena Bak-Maier
25/6/2016 02:22:34 pm
Hi Nick - great and interesting comments here. I have struggled with the work-life divide and in the end while I can see the case for blurring the boundaries somewhat or creating flexibility within the frame of work and vice-versa - I ended up designing a tool and framework to help my clients attend to four life areas - work, life, career and self. Coaches and clients and readers say it is simple, effective and fun. I used neuroscience research and insights from my own studies to fine tune it but most of all it works for my own life which has become more balanced and has move joy as well as life. If anyone is interested in the tool please have a look at my posts. Happy weekend to all.
Nick Wright
25/6/2016 02:31:59 pm
Hi Magdalena and thanks for the note. I'm intrigued that you've added 'career' and 'self' as separate categories to 'work' and 'life'. On the face of it, that sounds like a very different route to those who want to dissolve the separation between 'work' and 'life'. Would you be willing to post a link to your tool and framework or, perhaps, provide a short summary here? Thanks! Nick
Magdalena Bak-Maier
28/6/2016 08:44:37 am
Hi Nick - the tool can be found in my book. I did not include it as wanted to avoid self-promotion. You can find the book on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Productive-Grid-work-life-balance/dp/0993525202?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc
Jayne Harrison
28/6/2016 08:45:00 am
Like Erin (Rybacek) McAuley I use a visual aid where individual clients identify the most important aspects of their life represented as a wheel, scoring each in terms of satisfaction. It might be career, family, hobbies, exercise, pets, development etc. Whatever is important to them. The scoring aspect helps them to see which aspects are not in 'balance' and where to focus. It's a very simple tool but has been really powerful. How often do we really sit down and look at what we need in life to feel happy? It's also not a straight I'll do less of X so I have time for Y. Sometimes there's a trade off. I need to be doing X at the moment, but I have a plan for when I'll be able to do more Y. Just not yet. Perhaps it's the feeling of control or choice rather than balance which is most important?
Nick Wright
28/6/2016 08:50:38 am
Hi Jayne and thanks for the note. I can see the attraction in the wheel idea, not least because it helps avoid a binary work-life choice and incorporates a wider range of elements. It sounds like you invite clients to decide for themselves what each segment of the wheel represents rather than pre-supposing what 'ought' to be in balance for them. I like that. I really like your final comment about feeling of control or choice because I believe that is a fundamental psychological dimension to this issue. You may be interested in this short piece that speaks to a similar theme: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/choose All the best. Nick
David McAra
29/6/2016 08:50:11 am
Not sure if the thoughts you have started for me really connect with this, Nick but that isn't going to stop me chipping in! Arising from 'work' being separate to 'life', work can seem to have different rules from the rest of life. E.g. I have to dress a particular way, my boss's opinion is worth more than mine, my emotions are not relevant at work, it's sometimes necessary to pretend that something other than the truth is true, my whole self is not particularly welcome at work (just the 'professional' part), my time is not my own as I have rented it to my employer, at work I must give a performance, I am a human resource. How joyful, creative and productive might work be if we were horrified by this list? David
Nick Wright
29/6/2016 08:55:22 am
Thanks for sharing such thought-provoking insights, David. I think you raise all kinds of interesting and important issues around, e.g. what it means to be 'professional', what happens to me over time if I have to adapt by splitting into separate and different 'work' and 'life' personas, what is lost at work if I stay in my 'work' persona and suppress 'life' persona etc. All of these things affect who and how we are at work as well as outside of work, insofar as it's meaningful to separate work and life in this way. Lots to think about. All the best. Nick
Steve Hearsum
4/7/2016 08:47:48 am
One of my colleagues at Roffey Park is currently researching 'work-life blend', which strikes me as being closer to reality. The two do not sit outside each other, they intertwine. It's just a question of degree, flavour, extent, tone etc (choose your own metaphor).
Nick Wright
4/7/2016 08:51:28 am
Hi Steve and thanks for the note. 'Work-life blend' could still suggest that 'work' and 'life' are separate dimensions of experience, albeit blended..? I wonder if there is a completely different way of thinking about it that would influence how we experience it...whatever 'it' is...and the choices we make. What do you think? All the best. Nick
Peter Davies
4/7/2016 09:16:36 am
That's an interesting point Steve Hearsum. I think there is too much focus on them being separate as opposed to understanding how they each support the other. Life has to be properly maintained to provide energy for work. Work has to be fulfilling and rewarding to allow life to be fulsome. The problems arise when you focus too much on one or the other.
Toby Lindsay
4/7/2016 08:52:15 am
Worms have an inner light. x
Nick Wright
4/7/2016 09:06:19 am
Very profound, Tony. :) All the best. Nick
Eric Lynn
4/7/2016 09:07:13 am
Work is part of life ...
Nick Wright
4/7/2016 09:09:52 am
Hi Eric. Erm...yep. All the best. Nick
Nick Skinner
4/7/2016 09:10:20 am
Earthworms exude a lubricant that enables them to work a pathway through their environment, and the pathways they create allow air and nutrients into the landscape so that great oaks may grow. Be more worm!
Nick Wright
4/7/2016 09:12:03 am
Hi Nick and thanks for supporting the worm. :) The first words that came to mind for me as I read your note were, 'Worms of the world unite!'...but it is a Monday morning. ;) All the best. Nick
Marian Janes ICF ACC
7/7/2016 08:43:50 am
I prefer to think of it as work/life integration. The line between each is quickly fading. In my coaching I now challenge people to explore who they are, how they show up and the potential for growth in any situation. Chances are that people show up similarly at work and home. What kind of life do you really want to lead? It's the 80-20 rule. People spend 80% of their life working and 20% living. So, in reality, how do we cultivate an integrated meaningful life 100% of the time?
Nick Wright
7/7/2016 08:46:23 am
Hi Marian and thanks for the note. Perhaps 'How do we cultivate an integrated, meaningful life 100% of the time?' is a key question in this conversation. The challenge often lies in the 'how to', given competing interests and demands in different aspects of our lives. What's your sense of how best to address the 'how to'? All the best. Nick
Marian Janes ICF ACC
13/7/2016 09:33:14 am
Having an understanding of your core values and which ones are at play in any given environment is a good place to start. For a meaningful experience to occur some values, but possibly not all, need to align. If all are being challenged or missing entirely conflict occurs both at home and at work.
Nick Wright
13/7/2016 09:36:59 am
Hi Marian and thanks for the note. I find your comment on values - and relative degrees of resonance or dissonance with them - very insightful and helpful in this conversation. It can create harmony or tension within which creates or amplifies harmony or tension in our outer world and experience too. All the best. Nick
Aremin Hacobian
13/7/2016 09:38:26 am
I like Marian's emphasis on alignment of values when speaking of work/life...I tend to think of it as follows--if one is fulfilled and challenged and enjoys their work, is it really work? If one resents one's job and hates going to the office or becomes mentally drained by their work environment, clearly there is a misalignment with their values and desires for life. So I'd propose Work/Life Alignment as being more appropriate than Work/Life Balance. If your values are aligned, work and life need not be on opposite ends of the see-saw and one can choose how and when work and life differ, and what boundaries need to be set when.
Nick Wright
7/7/2016 08:50:43 am
Hi all. Just read this interesting article in the Guardian that included the comment: 'Postcapitalism is possible because of three major changes information technology has brought about in the past 25 years. First, it has reduced the need for work, blurred the edges between work and free time and loosened the relationship between work and wages.' Adds an interesting dimension to the work-life debate! https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jul/17/postcapitalism-end-of-capitalism-begun Nick
Dan Eisenman
13/7/2016 09:39:21 am
Often times when I am coaching a client who refers to work life balance, they're really referring to an energy exchange: the things that give them energy and the things that drain them. A deceptively simple equation. The complexity of life makes it hard to see what does what. For example, a young executive I coach, when asked to list her "boosters and drainers" in life, listed "my children" in both columns... There's the complexity. Core values conversations and other things give people a language with which to identify what exactly gives them life and energy and which things leave their headlights on in the parking lot so-to-speak. To balance one's energy is to create a harmonious state where whatever they do in life (work, play. whatever), can be maintained. If a fun exercise to help someone through. Very illuminating for all of us worms in the tunnel of life!
Nick Wright
13/7/2016 09:49:13 am
Hi Dan and thanks for sharing such great practical examples and insights. I use a similar approach when offering career coaching: I may invite the person to draw a line down the centre of a sheet of paper and to pose 3 questions on each side. 1st column: when do I feel most alive; what am I really good at; what do I find easy to learn. 2nd column: what drains the life out of me; what am I really not good at; what do I find hard to learn. Similarly to your experience, I sometimes find that people write some of the same things in both columns. It's as if the line between the columns is blurred or permeable. It can be quite revealing and enables the conversation to shift from binary choices to energy, balance etc. Depending on a person's spiritual orientation, I may introduce additional questions around purpose, sense of calling etc. which add another dimension and dynamic too. Yes, very illuminating for us worms! :) All the best. Nick Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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