NICK WRIGHT
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Expert

24/2/2023

24 Comments

 
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'Growth occurs when individuals confront problems, struggle to master them, and through that struggle develop new aspects of their skills, capacities and views of life.' (Carl Rogers)

A common consideration we face in coaching and action learning is, when asking a question, whom the question – or indeed the answer to the question – is for. For instance, if a person is describing a scenario in sketchy terms, we may be tempted to ask them to say more about it so that we have a better picture of the situation they have in mind. If they use jargon or acronyms with which we are unfamiliar, we may ask them to explain what they mean in order to fill our information gaps.

If you work in a job such as a manager, professional or consultant, this approach to asking questions may sound and feel very familiar to you. It’s probable that you are employed in such a role because you’re an expert in your field and are able, therefore, to contribute. It may be that others come to you with tricky problems in the hope that you can solve them for them. It’s likely that you will ask questions that help ensure you’re able to offer an appropriate diagnosis, prescription or solution.

Now turn this on its head. In coaching and action learning, I don’t need to know very much at all about a situation another person is talking about. My role is to help them to explore fresh avenues of thought and experience for themselves, in order to find or create their own innovative solutions. When I present this idea in training workshops, however, I often see participants look back at me with scepticism. ‘How are we supposed to pose useful questions if we don’t know anything?’

In one such workshop this week, I invited a group of online participants to engage in a simple experiment with me. I asked them to pay close attention, while I described a real challenge I’m dealing with. Before I began to say anything more about the issue itself, however, I turned off my microphone. Then, after a few minutes of speaking, I turned on my microphone again and asked them what questions they could now pose to help me think through my own issue more broadly or deeply.

It was a lightbulb moment. After a few moments of silence, questions began to emerge. ‘Which aspect of this matters most to you?’ ‘If you were to be successful in moving ahead with this, what would that look like?’ ‘Which part of this is causing you greatest anxiety or concern?’ I then turned off the microphone again and spoke further. A few minutes later, microphone back on again…then another invitation for questions. The group paused again, then posed further questions to me.

‘Where are you at now in relation to your thinking about this?’ ‘How will you know if you have landed on the right decision?’ ‘What support will you need to move this forward?’ It was a powerful moment of realisation. As we reviewed together what had happened, some profound group insights emerged. ‘We didn’t get drawn into the issue with you because we didn’t know what you were talking about.’ ‘Our questions focused on you in relation to the issue, rather than on the issue itself.’

The client is the expert. My role is to help develop, release and apply that expertise to influence change.

Curious to discover how I can help? Get in touch!
24 Comments
Jasmin V.
24/2/2023 11:33:36 pm

Hi Nick. I read your blog and it's a great strategy that you use in your coaching work. May people who are engaged in the same field of practice find your blog helpful in their field or studies too.

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 12:03:41 am

Thank you, Jasmin. Yes, I share these insights and ideas in the hope that others may benefit from them too. 🙏

Reply
Catherine Simpson
25/2/2023 09:51:26 am

Nick - you have just changed my whole approach to coaching!!!

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 09:52:03 am

Hi Catherine. I hope that's a good thing! :)

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Andy Rolfe
25/2/2023 09:54:37 am

I'm not sure, Nick. Sometimes, a person really doesn't have the "answer" within themselves. In those situations, the person might need information or knowledge that they couldn't access by other means.

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 01:03:02 pm

Hi Andy. I agree. In those instances, coaching may not be the most useful method of support. The coach could, nevertheless, help a person identify what information or knowledge they may need to resolve an issue or find-create a solution...and how they could access it. If the coach has information or knowledge that the client needs, and the client is unable to reach those things through coaching, the coach could temporarily take off their 'coaching hat', offer the information and knowledge, then put their 'coaching hat' back on again. The coaching could then continue, if useful, by posing questions such as, 'Now that you know this, what will you do with it?'

Reply
Hannah Telford
25/2/2023 09:56:57 am

Nick. Are you saying I should ignore what the other person is talking about? If I did, I would have no idea whether my questions are relevant. The person may feel like I'm ignoring them too.

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 01:08:16 pm

Hi Hannah. That's a great question and thank you for creating this opportunity to clarify what I meant. No, I wouldn't advocate ignoring what the person is talking about. I would, however, hold it in something analogous to 'peripheral vision', whilst retaining my focus on the person him- or herself. I say more about this approach in this short related piece: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/you

Reply
Kevin Lambert
25/2/2023 09:59:51 am

You have a point, Nick. When I find myself asking a client more and more about their situation, I find myself getting more and more lost in the same lostness that they are experiencing. It takes discipline to focus my questions on the client instead, especially if the situation sounds interesting or makes me believe I have the answer!

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 01:09:55 pm

Hi Kevin and thank you for posting such an honest response. What you describe resonates well with what I have tried to articulate in this short related piece: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/you

Reply
Maria Branson
25/2/2023 10:02:23 am

What if the person talks about a challenge where they can't find an answer, and I know the answer? That's probably why they come for coaching in the first place, right?

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 01:19:38 pm

Hi Maria. That's a good question. I think it partly depends on the nature of the challenge.

(In case of interest, Marcus Coetzee explains a useful distinction between simple, complex and wicked problems here: https://www.marcuscoetzee.com/identifying-simple-complex-and-wicked-problems/)

It also depends partly on what the purpose of the coaching is; e.g. to find a solution; or to enable a person to develop critical thinking skills that will enable them to find their own solutions in the future.

On the question of 'I know the answer', David Cooper inspired me with some further insights in this short related piece, especially when enabling a person to deal with complex or wicked (rather than simple) problems:

https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/im-not-you

Reply
Ian Abbott
25/2/2023 10:04:08 am

That was a brave experiment Nick. What would you have done if they couldn't think of any questions??! :)

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 01:23:10 pm

Thank you, Ian. In a training context, if the participants genuinely can't think of any questions, we can offer sample questions as a 'model'. We can also invite them to practise create simple questions (e.g. 12 words maximum) that use (a) 'You' and (b) Who, What, Why, Where or When.

Reply
Sandra Webb
25/2/2023 10:07:14 am

Nick, I don't agree. You make it sound like all that matters is a random textbook list of questions. The person you're coaching could feel like you're not listening to them at all. Why not just point them to a book of coaching questions and let them do it for themselves!

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 01:29:29 pm

Hi Sandra. Thank you for posing such a helpful challenge. I ought to have explained more clearly that the 'experiment' I described in this blog wasn't intended as a model for coaching or action learning practice. It was intended simply to enable participants to practice formulating and posing questions that focus on the person in relation to their issue, rather than on the issue itself.

In case of broader interest, I recently led a webinar for Action Learning Associates that, in the context of action learning (a form of peer group coaching), aims to identify a diverse range of factors that - at least in my experience - influence the quality and effectiveness of such practices. Here's a link to the webinar recording:

https://www.actionlearningassociates.co.uk/resources/action-learning-transactional-to-transformational-webinar/

Reply
Richard Murray
25/2/2023 10:08:38 am

Nick. I want to learn more about this approach. It's very different to how I've been trained. I think it could change everything. Can you recommend any further reading? Thank you for sharing.

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 02:09:09 pm

Hi Richard. Yes, there are lots of different schools of thought and practice in the coaching field. I refer to a great book by Claire Pedrick in this short related blog: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/simple. It's definitely worth a glance.

Reply
Donna K
25/2/2023 10:09:49 am

Hey Nick. Love it. What if someone in the group could lip read? :)

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 02:12:51 pm

Hi Donna. Yes, that did occur to me too! :) It could have added a very different dimension to the experience. You have reminded me of a coaching-therapy session I was invited into to observe many years ago now, in Germany when my German language was very limited indeed. The social worker was astonished, afterwards, how much I had understood. I was too. I learned then that learning to be present and to trust my intuition - rather than paying too much attention to spoken language - was key.

Reply
Dan Robson
25/2/2023 10:11:20 am

You have sparked my curiosity Nick. What do you mean when you say the client is the expert? If they are the expert, why would they need coaching? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Reply
Nick Wright
25/2/2023 02:21:12 pm

Thank you, Dan. That's a good question too. The client is an expert in terms of his or her lived experience in the context(s) in which he or she is seeking to address an issue. A gift - where coaching or action learning can be helpful - is to enable a client to disentangle their thoughts and experiences, and to discern what sometimes feels like intuitive, bodily wisdom in the midst in order to identify-choose a way forward.

In my experience (including where I have got this wrong - particularly in cross-cultural contexts), assuming we can know on behalf of a client is risky. We may make all kinds of assumptions on the basis of our own knowledge, experiences, relationships etc that don't hold true in that person's context. In case of interest, I share some further thoughts on this theme in this short related piece:

https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/im-not-you

Reply
Funmi Johnson
28/2/2023 10:03:40 am

I love this. I’m learning how to put this into practice in my work now. A a recovering lawyer, I can tell you this is a bit of a challenge 😂

Reply
Nick Wright
28/2/2023 10:04:55 am

Thank you, Funmi. “A recovering lawyer”. You made me laugh!! 😂

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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