‘It is always much more difficult to sing when the audience has turned its back.’ (Calvin Miller) Early in my career, I worked for an over-zealous manager who would sit at the front while I was speaking at events; looking impatient, rolling her hands and tapping her watch. Perhaps she was worrying, unnecessarily, whether I would keep to time. I imagine she thought she was being helpful. I learned then that a look of disapproval or distrust is sometimes all it takes to sap a person’s confidence or to ruin their performance. An Australian pop group reflected a similar feeling and impact in its half-pleading song lyric, ‘I can't do well when I think you're going to leave me, even though I try’. (Empire of the Sun) What a stark contrast a word of encouragement can be. Some years later, I was invited to speak at a prestigious international conference. I had grown in confidence, yet there was something about this event that evoked all kinds of anxieties within me. As I sat alone in the VIP lounge beforehand, I could see my hand trembling uncontrollably as I tried hard to hold a hot drink. When I stepped nervously into the auditorium and onto its expansive, spot-lit stage, I could see smartly-dressed delegates being ushered into the room and handed very professional-looking folders as they looked to find a seat. My legs felt like jelly, so I sat down on the steps beside the podium and took deep breaths to try to relax myself. At that moment, a tiny black woman walked directly up to me and smiled brightly. She announced enthusiastically that she has travelled all the way from the Solomon Islands to be here, and was surprised and delighted to read in the brochure that I too was a ‘follower of Jesus’. I thanked her warmly for introducing herself. Her face shone like an angel. ‘I will be sitting in the centre of the room’, she said, ‘and praying for you continually!’ My knees found strength. The speech went well. When have you felt encouraged at work? How did affect your performance?
18 Comments
Janet O'Dell
13/2/2023 02:13:47 pm
Nick, I like your honesty. How did you come to get invited to speak?
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Nick Wright
13/2/2023 02:17:46 pm
Thank you, Janet. I'd had an article published that year on 'organisation development'. The conference organisers had read and liked it and, on the back of that, invited me to speak on that topic.
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Janet O'Dell
13/2/2023 02:20:29 pm
Great that you'd had an article published, Nick. Great that it opened other doors for you too!
Nick Wright
13/2/2023 02:26:36 pm
Hi Janet. Yes, indeed. Amazingly, the editor of another journal sat on the front row during that conference, avidly taking notes. At the end of my speech, he asked it I'd write it up for his journal too. In case of interest, here's the link to that article: https://www.nick-wright.com/a-journey-towards-od.html
Rod Aldridge
13/2/2023 02:15:46 pm
Hi Nick. I remember when you spoke at a conference on behalf of Tearfund. I overheard the two women in the seats beside me say they'd do anything to work with you! :)
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Nick Wright
13/2/2023 02:19:42 pm
Hi Rod. Yes, I remember you giving me that feedback after the event. :) It felt easy to speak on Tearfund and its amazing work. It meant that my passion and experience were authentic. Perhaps that's partly what had inspired those delegates too.
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Paul Garrett
13/2/2023 02:23:58 pm
Wow Nick. That's quite a contrast. Got me thinking. Anything you can point me to? Resources?
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Nick Wright
13/2/2023 02:28:10 pm
Hi Paul. Have a glance at Liz Wiseman's 'Multipliers' (2017). There are resonances with Liz's 'diminishers' vs 'multipliers.'
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Sally Hughes
13/2/2023 02:29:15 pm
That quotation from Calvin Miller is very poignant, Nick. How true.
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Nick Wright
13/2/2023 02:35:08 pm
Hi Sally. Yes, Calvin Miller has a real gift with language. I love his way of expressing deeply profound truths in simple, poetic words. (This particular quotation came from his allegory of Jesus in the Christian gospels, 'The Singer').
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Hannah Rhodes
13/2/2023 06:29:14 pm
I heard you speak at a workshop recently, Nick. You couldn't have conveyed greater calmness and presence. We, as a group, were transfixed by you! We're still wondering what your secret is. :)
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Nick Wright
13/2/2023 06:34:52 pm
Thank you for your encouraging feedback, Hannah. :) I would attribute what you experienced to grounding in 3 guiding principles these days: Prayer, Presence, Participation.
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Hannah Rhodes
13/2/2023 09:00:23 pm
Thanks Nick. Can you say more about "presence"? I think I know what you mean but I'm not sure.
Nick Wright
13/2/2023 09:01:14 pm
Hi Hannah. Let me know if this short related piece on "presence" answers your question? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-power-of-presence
Sam Kellner
13/2/2023 06:35:56 pm
Hey Nick. I think that woman might have been an angel!!
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Nick Wright
13/2/2023 06:38:19 pm
Hi Sam. I think so too. After my speech ended, I never saw her again. On the theme of mysterious encounters, this short piece may also be of interest - this time with a man in Ethiopia: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/heartbreak-and-hope
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Jill Longstaff
15/2/2023 07:59:19 pm
I've had bosses like the one you describe Nick. They can be so controlling and undermining. Thank God for those people who come to us like angels!!
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 08:03:12 pm
Hi Jill. Joyce Huggett's deep insight comes to mind: ‘To demand perfection from someone is to crush them.’ I hope I, too, can be like an angel from God for others..!
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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