‘Anticipation is a gift. Anticipation is born of hope.’ (Steven L. Peck) Antoine de Saint-Exupéry tells the entrancing, magical story of a Little Prince from a faraway world who visits Earth and makes friends with a wild fox. When making preparations for his visits, the fox explains to the Prince earnestly: ‘If you come at four in the afternoon, I'll begin to be happy by three. The closer it gets to four, the happier I'll feel. By four I'll be excited and worried; I'll discover what it costs to be happy! But if you come at any old time, I'll never know when I should prepare my heart.’ The fox’s yearning resonates with a love poem by an unknown author: ‘There’s a moment between a glance and a kiss where the world stops for the briefest of times. And the only thing between us is the anticipation of your lips on mine. A moment so intense it hangs in the air as it pulls us closer. A moment so perfect that, when it comes to an end, we realize it’s only just beginning.’ It’s that not-quite-yet sense of an I-can-almost-touch-it moment; filled with tension, desire and anticipation. Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) draws on the visceral power of this anticipation phenomenon in its intriguing half-smile technique. An anxious person is invited to begin to start to smile – without allowing it to become a full smile – then to pause and hold the half-smile for a few…brief…moments. Subconsciously, we associate the physical sensation of an almost-smile with an anticipation of a positive mood and experience, and this can create a positive shift in how we feel. How well do you deal with waiting, with harnessing anticipation? [See also: Wait; and Instant]
18 Comments
Patricia Wellman
29/10/2022 09:58:16 pm
Hi Nick, I am looking forward to an unusual event. On the one hand, I'm counting the days until it's finally here. On the other hand, I don't want it to start, because then it will be over soon. But it will begin, I will experience it and keep it in my memory. Afterwards I am always very grateful for these special hours or days. But also about normal everyday life, which brings me "down" again in my emotional world.
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Nick Wright
29/10/2022 11:19:07 pm
Hi Patricia. I think you articulated well the feeling, the mood, of anticipation: 'On the one hand, I'm counting the days until it's finally here. On the other hand, I don't want it to start, because then it will be over soon...'
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Patricia Wellman
30/10/2022 10:17:43 pm
Hi Nick, when I'm waiting for something that's pleasant and that I've planned myself, I like to wait and get excited, such as birthdays. If I have to wait for something unpleasant, such as a visit to the doctor, then waiting is stressful. When another person determines how long I must wait for a permit, document or meeting, I need a lot of patience, understanding and charity.
Nick Wright
30/10/2022 10:27:47 pm
Hi Patricia. That's so true. It all depends on what we are anticipating, and what we believe the impacts will be on ourselves and-or others and-or things we care about.
Arman
29/10/2022 10:51:30 pm
Hi Nick.
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Nick Wright
29/10/2022 11:22:58 pm
Thank you for your kind and encouraging feedback, Arman. Todd J. Schmenk provides an excellent introduction to the half-smile technique in his short video here:
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Jasmin V
30/10/2022 12:34:18 am
Hi Nick. Jesus said ‘Watch and pray’. In my own life, I have been waiting since I was five years old. My father left home and promised to send me a bag, some clothes and shoes, pencils and paper for school. Every day, I kept praying in tears of excitement. ‘At least when classes start’, I thought, ‘I will have my very own school supplies’. Yet nothing ever arrived.
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Nick Wright
30/10/2022 09:36:51 am
Hi Jasmin. Thank you or sharing so deeply from what sounds like a painful personal experience as a child yet which, thank God, worked out well in the end.
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Jasmin V.
30/10/2022 09:40:45 am
Thanks Nick. Yes, to wait can be a painful and testing experience. It's why Jesus calls us to watch *and* pray. If the waiting period is longer than we expect, we risk losing hope and running after all kinds of distractions and temptations instead. Only faith and trust in God can sustain us to hold on and not give up.
Nick Wright
30/10/2022 07:55:35 pm
Hi Jasmin. You reminded me of these profound words in the Bible: 'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.' (Proverbs 13:12).
Stefan Schneider
30/10/2022 07:58:11 pm
Hello Nick. This meaning is same as pregnant pause in drama and literature, right?
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Nick Wright
30/10/2022 08:03:04 pm
Hi Stefan. I think that's an interesting insight. I like the Wiki definition of a 'pregnant pause' as, 'a pause that gives the impression that it will be followed by something significant.'
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Stefan Schneider
30/10/2022 08:04:04 pm
Thanks Nick. Hitler did this also, right?
Nick Wright
30/10/2022 08:07:41 pm
Hi Stefan. Yes, Hitler used silence powerfully as a rhetorical device when making his speeches. He would stand up, then hold a longer-than-usual pause before speaking that would create a sense of tension and anticipation in his audience.
Anna Girard
30/10/2022 08:10:05 pm
Hey Nick. I love the little prince, and that poem - wow! Thanks for sharing it.
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Nick Wright
30/10/2022 08:10:51 pm
Thank you, Anna. Me too! :)
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Peter Faulkner
30/10/2022 08:18:41 pm
Hi Nick. Great thoughts! I'm impatient to hear if you have more insights on waiting!! Keep writing.
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Nick Wright
30/10/2022 08:22:01 pm
Hi Peter - and thank you! You made me smile. :) You may find these short related pieces interesting?
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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