Life before death

1/7/2023

‘The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference. That’s what it is to live and to have lived well.’ (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Life is hard-edged for the poor.

The last person who reached out to this marginalised community was stabbed. That was an unhappy ending to a hope-filled good intention. Not deterred by this, a Filipina saw the unseen, the unloved, the people considered criminal, unworthy and unlovable. She was warned to stay away from this mixed group of families who eek out a living among the dead, and the dangerous gangs who wouldn’t hesitate to end her life. Nevertheless, she heard Jesus' call so she went.

Not long afterwards, she stepped off public transport near this place only to witness, beside her, a woman shot dead in a hail of bullets. She learned later that the woman was killed by drug dealers, concerned she might disclose their identities to the authorities. Scared yet persevering, this Filipina has persisted in reaching out in love, building friendships, ‘sacred encounters’, as she calls them, and providing food and simple mattresses for those in greatest need.

I ask her why she does it. ‘I want to show them the living Jesus walking among them, the Jesus who loves them and cares for them. I want them to know that they matter to God.’ I’m humbled, challenged and inspired (from a safe distance) by her courage and self-sacrificing love. I keep reflecting on Bob Hunter’s (founder of Greenpeace) radical stance: ‘Put your body where your mouth is.’ That’s what Jesus did – the Incarnate divine – and that’s what she’s doing now.

18 Comments

Laura Emerson

2/7/2023 04:16:48 pm

Thank you for sharing this inspiring account, Nick. I agree with you that "seeing" the poor is the first step. I walk past poor people every day in London and, if I'm honest, I don't really see them. They become part of the everyday landscape. How quickly we adapt to poverty and injustice around us. How quickly we become numb to it, immune.

Nick Wright

2/7/2023 04:31:19 pm

Thank you, Laura, and thank you for sharing so honestly from your personal experience too. I agree that we very quickly learn to look without seeing, especially if seeing - really seeing - could call for a response that could challenge or risk overwhelming us, beyond what we believe we could or would be willing to handle.

I've learned from this remarkable Filipina in the Philippines that the poorest of the poor often don't see themselves either. It's sometimes as if they don't exist, even to themselves. When she stops and sees them and builds relationship with them, it's as if they begin to become real (see: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/i-see-you).

I think this is one reason why Paulo Freire, author of Pedagogy of the Oppressed (1970) spoke so insightfully of the need for 'conscientisation'. In case of further interest in this area, see: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/head-in-the-sand, and https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/agent-of-change

Richard Byworth

2/7/2023 04:20:45 pm

There are more poor people in the world than we could ever hope to help Nick. It's admirable to do things for them but, if things in this country are anything to go by, people quickly become dependent. People need to learn to stand on their own 2 feet. That's the only way things will change for them.

2/7/2023 04:38:19 pm

Hi Richard. That's a fair challenge. In my experience, it's not an either-or. This Filipina models what community development pioneer T.M. Batten describes as a nuanced blend of: (a) directive - that is, doing it for or on behalf of; (b) non-directive - that is, doing with or enabling people to do it for themselves, and (c) positive withdrawal - that is, not intervening, or stepping back to allow or challenge people to do it for themselves.

In case of further interest: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/state-of-independence

3/7/2023 04:21:20 pm

I like the sound of that TM Batten approach. That makes sense to me. To help me picture it in practice, would you say more about what the Filipina you wrote about does to model it with this community?

3/7/2023 04:31:14 pm

Hi Richard. Yes, it makes sense to me too. Here are practical some examples of what she's doing at the moment:

'Directive': Providing emergency food supplies and mattresses for children to sleep on; advocating for sanitation facilities with the local government.

'Non-directive': Running community-building events with volunteers from the community; facilitating the women to organise themselves.

'Positive withdrawal': Stepping back, between interventions, so that people in the community can practise applying what they have been learning.

I hope that gives a clear picture of this blended approach.

Kerry Cooke

2/7/2023 04:41:01 pm

I wouldn't be brave enough to do that, Nick. Give that Filipina a big hug from me. Brave woman!

2/7/2023 04:50:27 pm

Hi Kerry - yes, she is a very courageous woman - and an incredible woman of faith.

Jonathan Daniels

2/7/2023 04:45:16 pm

Hi Nick. Nice blog, as always. I'm very interested. How do these people live and survive in a cemetery? What do they live in? Do they have food, water supply and toilets? Very humbling. It sounds rough there to me.

2/7/2023 10:55:27 pm

Thanks Jonathan. Those are good practical questions. (I say a bit more about this cemetery community here: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/life-in-unexpected-places)

They mostly live in shacks, on a little rice and bottled water when they can afford to buy it. They don't have access to toilets - only to a piece of wasteland behind the cemetery.

Lisa Ford

2/7/2023 04:54:31 pm

What a lovely story of what it means to follow Jesus Nick. I don't often see things like that on the internet. I'm not religious but I do find this woman's life and love inspiring. It's wonderful that she's building relationships and bringing hope among people who live among graves like this. I'm sure they must love her too.

2/7/2023 05:00:23 pm

Thank you, Lisa. Yes, there's a wonderful moment in the Bible where it talks about what happened when Jesus came into the world: 'The people living in darkness have seen a great Light. And for those who live in the land where death casts its shadow, a Light has shined.’ (Matthew 4:16) How incredibly apt!

This Filipina organised an event for this cemetery community today. It's the first time anyone has done anything like this with and for them. It included teaching, games, nutritious food, singing and dancing some 80 families with 200+ children. When she sent me photos, it was fantastic to see the looks of joy on people's faces. :)

Mary J

4/7/2023 02:03:25 pm

My mom is the bravest woman,most courageous,risk taker,never give up easily under any circumstances. The strongest to fight for what is right and just. She is strict in terms of cleanliness to the extreme.when she taught me about my speech ,I must follow her including,comma,period,rising and falling of words. She will not stop until I got it perfectly the way she wanted. In school activities and performances she instructed me to do my very best for Jesus and keep smiling even if it hurts. She cared so much for us,she nag a lot but loved us unselfishly that she will not eat anything or buy anything for herself unless she provided us everything with her priceless effort as her children.

We must follow rules to pray everyday every 7pm until Friday. Only on weekend we can watched TV. We attended mass every Sunday as family. She assigned us house task to do and expect a prize when we failed to follow.
She asked sorry if she punished us with tears in her eyes. When I was little she carried me in her right arm while she hold in her left hand the hands of my brothers as well.

I love Jasmin as my mother even if say often say no if I wish to hang out with friends. Iam angry of her sometimes but I understood why. For me not to be like my brother who got married early. When she is over hurt then tired she hid in her room and will not speak unless she is ok.
Thank you Nick for this blog about her. The wildest mom in this world yet the most sensitive soft hearted mother.who cried a lot while watching dramatic movie and will not slept when we got sick and when she received sad news she is silently in tears and will pretend nothing is wrong. Continue to write inspiring blogs Nick. Like a 🦄 who would like to become human.🤣

4/7/2023 03:27:06 pm

Hi Mary. Thank you for sharing such a heart-warming tribute to your Mum. Yes, she is truly remarkable - and yes, she does model and demand very high standards. You are remarkable too, Mary. I have rarely met a young woman like you who, since your childhood, has shared a similar spirit and passion for the poor and most vulnerable. You inspire me too! (I will never forget your 'unicorn' comments when I was in hospital in the Philippines - you really made me laugh!!)

Paul

6/7/2023 12:54:42 am

Jasmin is one brave woman. She is a living rxample of the "good life" according to Aristotle's eudaemonia (often translated as “happiness” or “well-being”) is a kind of flourishing where an individual has achieved balance in their approach to living and has found meaning in their life through virtuous action.

6/7/2023 12:38:48 pm

Hi Paul. Thanks for sharing those interesting reflections. I had never really thought of Jasmin as 'balanced'. I tend to see her as living at the extremes, at the cutting-edge of life and faith. She is certainly passionately engaged in virtuous action!

Liz Hambleton

6/7/2023 12:41:27 pm

Hi Nick. This Filipina you write about inspires me and intimidates me! How does she find and keep up this love that keeps on giving so self-sacrificially? I want to be more like her. But it scares me too.

6/7/2023 12:43:21 pm

Hi Liz. I can certainly relate to your response. Jasmin follows in Mother Teresa's footsteps: ‘Our capacity to radiate God’s love is dependent first on a personal interior contact with the fire of God’s love.’ Jasmin's life is steeped in prayer.