‘If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the plane the next day, that’s an outstanding landing.’ (Chuck Yeager) ‘I think I just crashed the plane!’ That made me laugh. We had been toying with the metaphor of flying an aircraft to think about different stages of a coaching or action learning process. My nephew, a trainee pilot, had explained to me previously how landing a plane after a flight can be the tricky part. There’s a risk that, having touched down, the plane bounces off the runway and takes off again, resulting in something like a kangaroo-effect along the runway until it finally comes to a halt. During an action learning facilitation training workshop this week, a participant guided the group successfully ‘down’ into the action stage, only inadvertently to have it take off again as she opened up to further questions for exploration. In the learning review afterwards, one of her fellow participants commented with a smile that it felt, perhaps, more like a turbulent landing than a crash into the runway. That was a relief. Yet, how to land a plane without the bumpy-bounce effect? Tony Stoltzfus in Coaching Questions (2008) offers a useful guide that focuses on three successive stages to help create a shift, from possibilities to decisions to committed actions: Could do; Want to; Will do. Could-do raises possibilities and options into the frame. Want-to touches on energy and motivation. Will-do moves towards determination and traction. We could picture this sequence as something like: What could you do? Is that a step you want to take? What will you do, by when? Stoltzfus goes on to highlight potential issues to look out for and to attend to, including ‘insurance’ and ‘equivocation’. The former involves helping a person to identify and address critical factors that could either ensure or undermine their success. The latter can be useful if a person appears to be feeling ambivalent or only superficially committed to a course of action. It’s the person’s own choice as to whether they follow-through. This is, however, about helping them to land themselves well. Examples of insurance-type questions are: ‘Are there any obstacles to getting this done?’ ‘Who else do you need to check with?’ ‘On a scale of 1-10, how confident are you that you’ll complete this step by the deadline?’ ‘What would it take to raise that to a 7, 8 or 9?’ ‘How could you change the step or the deadline to make this more realistic?’ ‘What could you do to increase your chances of getting this done successfully?’ ‘Do you need an accountability person or mechanism to help you do this?’ Examples of equivocation-type questions are: ‘Are you ready to commit to that next step?’ ‘You said you might take that next step. Is there anything holding you back?’ You said you ought to do this. What would make it something you’ll do because you really want to do it?’ ‘You sound like you're procrastinating. You can choose to do this or not to do it. What will you do?’ ‘Is there anything we need to discuss or change about the step you’re considering that would help you to make a more decisive choice?’ Stoltzfus ends by offering some tips on tentative language to listen out for at the action phase that could indicate a person is equivocating, or hasn’t yet reached a decision point: ‘I could…’ ‘I might…’ ‘I’m thinking of…’ ‘One possibility…’ ‘Maybe I should…’ ‘I ought to…’ ‘I’d like to…’ ‘Someday…’ It’s analogous to hovering above the runway without yet having achieved touch-down. Try: ‘How do you feel, here and now, as you consider each option?’ ‘If you were to land this, what would you need?’ [See also: A good ending; Get a grip; Grit]
18 Comments
Mark Flanagan
16/3/2023 03:40:18 pm
Thanks for sharing Nick. Great tips. My coaching sometimes lands a bit abruptly or gets stuck in mid air. I like your ideas from Stoltzfus!
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Nick Wright
16/3/2023 05:39:49 pm
Hi Mark. Yes, landing a coaching conversation well can be quite tricky. I like Stoltzfus' book because it's simple and practical and has lots of sample questions for different dimensions of a coaching relationship and conversation.
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Claire Anderson
16/3/2023 05:56:02 pm
LOVE it. Could do - want to - will do. Genius!!
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Nick Wright
16/3/2023 05:59:57 pm
Hi Claire. Yes, I love it's simplicity and usefulness. You may find this short related piece interesting too? Let me know what you think?
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Claire Anderson
16/3/2023 06:04:57 pm
Yeah Nick. Class. LOVE that too!!
Nick Wright
16/3/2023 06:05:33 pm
Thanks Claire. :)
Ken Palmer
16/3/2023 11:03:56 pm
You got me thinking Nick. Why do we find it so hard to land the plane? Does it mean we're too scared to challenge a person (perhaps ourselves) to take an action, or that we just don't like to be pinned down in case we're held accountable?
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Nick Wright
16/3/2023 11:13:34 pm
Hi Ken. You've got me thinking too. What an interesting question...!
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Susan Jones
17/3/2023 10:30:38 am
Hello Nick. Thanks for sharing. I find insurance and equivocation interesting. I often notice that people I coach appear to commit to something at the end. Then they tell me next time they didn't do it. This will help me to be more rigorous.
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Nick Wright
17/3/2023 10:40:42 am
Thanks Susan. That made me wonder. If you notice this as a recurring pattern with a particular client, it could be useful to reflect that back as an observation. It could open up all kinds of opportunities for deeper learning.
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Elaine Williams
17/3/2023 10:33:06 am
I don't like this, Nick. "You sounds like you're procrastinating" sounds very judgemental. Stoltzfus questions put too much onus on the coach to direct the action-setting.
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Nick Wright
17/3/2023 10:45:27 am
Hi Elaine. I think that's a fair challenge. I guess it depends partly on how the coach has contracted to work with the client. In my experience, some coachees invite a high level of direct challenge from the coach - a bit like an intensive workout in the gym.
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Elaine Williams
17/3/2023 10:47:33 am
I don't get it. What do you mean by different types of coaching?
Nick Wright
17/3/2023 10:49:36 am
Hi Elaine. Coaching (like mentoring) is a diverse field of practice. Different coaches may approach coaching quite differently. In case of interest, I offer some examples here:
Paul Masters
17/3/2023 10:50:45 am
Hey Nick. You've certainly sparked my interest! What's action learning?
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Nick Wright
17/3/2023 10:54:29 am
Thank you, Paul. Action Learning is a form of small group peer-coaching. It enables a person to think through a challenge they are facing, by a facilitated process of receiving questions from diverse perspectives. It also enables that person to discover or create innovative solutions and actions, develop a greater sense of personal agency and share their learning with the group.
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Paul Masters
17/3/2023 10:56:42 am
That sounds awesome Nick. Where can I find out more about how to do this?
Nick Wright
17/3/2023 11:03:15 am
Hi Paul. Yes, Action Learning can be a powerful transformational approach. Here are some links to short related pieces, and to a recording of a webinar with Action Learning Associates on what makes it most effective: Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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