NICK WRIGHT
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Toys

1/12/2022

22 Comments

 
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​‘Think of your techniques as toys rather than tools.’ (Brian Watts)

This was an insightful, inspiring and innovative coach who had a gift for working at the learning edge, the leading edge, the sometimes bleeding edge. I had the pleasure of working with him as a close colleague and as a client. For me, it was a profound, at times disconcerting, and yet often invigorating learning experience. It challenged my ingrained, default ways of thinking about and doing my work. It also gave me my first experiential taste of the power of Gestalt.

His approach started with a simple and open invitation, ‘Be free, creative and experimental. See what happens. Let the child play!’ His conviction was that transformation takes place (a) through experiential learning, and (b) at what is, for the client, his or her own learning edge. It’s that frontier horizon at which we place our self- and culturally-imposed limits. It’s the stretched and stretching place where we may discover our own subconscious psychological defences too.

I talked about a forthcoming meeting with an executive team. I was new in my career and found the anticipation of this encounter very anxiety-provoking. The coach invited me to leave the room, then to step back in as if entering the executive meeting room itself. When I did so, he observed (to my surprise) that I was holding my hand across my chest, as if protecting my heart. ‘How would it be if you were to reveal your heart in that meeting?’ I did so, and that transformed everything.

In the creative, experimental spirit that lays at the heart of Gestalt coaching, he reminded me, ‘Sometimes these things will fall flat. It’s always a leap of faith.’ It’s a suck-it-and-see approach: try something new and see what may emerge into awareness. It taught me that learning has rational, emotional, intuitive, imaginative and somatic dimensions. I discovered I stand to learn most when I take a risk, when I dare to step out and beyond my natural-instinctive learning mode.

Curious to experience the power of Gestalt? Get in touch!

[For more examples of Gestalt coaching in practice, see: Just do it; Crab to dolphin; Let's get physical]
22 Comments
Sonja Wallace
2/12/2022 06:09:52 pm

This is an interesting article Nick. I've never heard of Gestalt. How is it different to other kinds of coaching?

Reply
Nick Wright
2/12/2022 06:11:32 pm

Hi Sonja. That's a good question. This short article compares and contrasts Gestalt coaching with Cognitive-behavioural coaching and may be of interest? https://www.nick-wright.com/gestalt-meets-cognitive-coaching.html

Reply
Chris Marshall
2/12/2022 06:13:10 pm

What does gestalt mean?

Reply
Nick Wright
2/12/2022 06:14:47 pm

Hi Chris. It's a German word that isn't directly translatable into English. I like the Collins Dictionary definition: 'In psychology, a gestalt is something that has particular qualities when you consider it as a whole, which are not obvious when you consider only the separate parts of it.'

Reply
Meagan Buzgym
2/12/2022 06:17:04 pm

Hey Nick. This looks great! I want to learn more. :)

Reply
Nick Wright
2/12/2022 06:22:18 pm

Hi Meagan. That was the impact for me too. :) I subsequently studied Psychological Coaching at postgraduate level, majoring in Gestalt. Have a glance at these short Gestalt-focused articles:

Just do it: https://www.nick-wright.com/just-do-it.html
Crab to dolphin: https://www.nick-wright.com/crab-to-dolphin.html
Let's get physical: https://www.nick-wright.com/lets-get-physical.html

Reply
Amanda Byworth
2/12/2022 06:23:28 pm

Toys not tools. Love that!

Reply
Nick Wright
2/12/2022 06:25:13 pm

Thank you, Amanda. Yes, it introduces the idea of experimentation and play into coaching - and that can open up all kinds of possibilities!

Reply
Justin Murray
2/12/2022 10:57:52 pm

That's quite an insight that the learning edge is where people also find their defences. Thanks for sharing it, Nick.

Reply
Nick Wright
2/12/2022 11:00:33 pm

Hi Justin. You're welcome. Yes, that was an insight that Brian shared with me. The insights from Rho Sandberg in this short related blog may be of interest too? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-edge-of-experience

Reply
Tina Rayner
2/12/2022 11:02:45 pm

Hi Nick. I like the Gestalt idea of thinking of coaching experiences as experiments. It releases the coach and the client.

Reply
Nick Wright
2/12/2022 11:13:59 pm

Thank you, Tina. Yes, Gestalt coaching works with 'what is' (the here-and-now experience of the client, the coach, the context, and the relationship between them) then, through enacting co-created experiments, notices what emerges into awareness. We could think of this as coaching-by-doing, rather than coaching-by-thinking. In case of further interest in this area, have a glance at:

https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/glimpses-of-gestalt
https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/light-crispy-spicy
https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/close-contact

Reply
Hans Vogel
3/12/2022 12:13:59 pm

Toys rather than tools. You think coaching is not serious?

Reply
Nick Wright
3/12/2022 12:19:46 pm

Hi Hans. That's an important challenge. Yes, the issues that a client brings to coaching are treated seriously. 'Toys' refers to flexibility and creativity in the coaching process and how it is applied - always in agreement with the client, rather than something that is imposed on them. Gestalt experiments (sometimes called 'safe emergencies') are always carried out in a spirit of invitation rather than expectation.

Reply
Anna Stewart
3/12/2022 12:22:29 pm

Hi Nick. Thanks for sharing this. Is "let the child play" the same idea as "the free child" in Transactional Analysis?

Reply
Nick Wright
3/12/2022 12:28:15 pm

Hi Anna. You're welcome. Yes, that's how I think of it. I like Cagley's definition of the 'free child' TA: 'The free child state is characterized by openness, spontaneity and boldness.' In that sense, 'free child' doesn't refer to an actual child literally, but to a psychological state and stance in relation to the world.

Reply
Jon Welby
3/12/2022 12:39:36 pm

Hey Nick. What a great idea! I'd love to see it in practice. Any resources I can look at?

Reply
Nick Wright
3/12/2022 12:41:10 pm

Thank you, John. I'd encourage you to follow the links to the actual case examples at the end of the blog (Just do it, Crab to dolphin, Let's get physical). This video clip may also be of interest, albeit Gestalt therapy rather than coaching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbOAdMdMLdI&t=6s

Reply
Bill Mason
3/12/2022 02:39:41 pm

Nick, that is a fantastic idea! I love that idea that we have toys not tools. Things we get to play with! things that are fun!

Reply
Nick Wright
3/12/2022 02:42:33 pm

Thank you, Bill. 😃 On the toys-related theme, you may find this short piece interesting too? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/un-clear

Reply
Barbara Gallen
8/12/2022 05:20:02 pm

Very insightful!!

Reply
Nick Wright
8/12/2022 05:20:33 pm

Thank you, Barbara! :)

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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